Why go guys have trust issues with girls?

[selinamc]

Ive been seeing this guy for a few weeks now who split up with his ex 2 years ago and had 2 kids with. Ive only been on a 3 dates with him but hes already said to me he thinks im not girlfriend material and im clingy even though there wasnt a relationship for either of us to be clingy in. He apologised to me for sying this telling me that he was in a foul mood at the time and didnt mean half of what he said and said to if i want to try again that is cool.
However, since i have been talking to him online he keeps contradicting himself firstly saying he wants to be friends and doesnt want a relationship and then saying he wants to settle down but hes not willing to give me a chance and give things ago. How can I get him to trust me and give me a chance?

[Davethedog]

The answers are so superficial.

Broken relationship - he may not want to go through the pain again, so he won't commit on one level, but on another he wants a relationship.

He might be rubbish or he might be scared, doesn't want to lose what hes got but not sure that he wants to go forward.

How about take it slow as you obviously like him and see what occurs.

[QueenOfAmber]

He sounds like his past relationship really didn't work for him. I think in around two years time he may get over it but it's just the trust he's having difficulty with. He probably doesn't trust you because he thinks the same thing would happen with you but he is showing some signs of recovering... If I were you I'd finish it because really: Do you want to be the one that has to deal with his mood swings and other things? At the end of the day someone will but do YOU want to be that somebody? I wouldn't...

[Mr Veritas]

The trouble is, women are always asking men to be truthful.
When a man (at last) IS truthful the women says she is hurt by his answers.
Men can't win,
This guy is obviously half with you,and half with his ex;I think you should dump him (gently) and get someone who is not bringing so much emotional baggage with him.
Only one thing to say in his favour,at least he is (most of the time) honest with you.

[Champagne]

Thing is, Selina, if he really thought that you were 'the one' then he'd snap you up in an instant. That's a message in itself.

If he's messing you around this early on in the dating stage then I'd suggest you leave him to sort his head out and find someone who's a little less complicated and more appreciative of you.

Don't assume that this behaviour is all you deserve.

[brenda]

Sounds very immature to me, or a bit of an emotional control freak.
Don't waste your time trying to sort his head out, life is too short for that.
A long term relationship with this guy, would be very miserable for you.
Tell him to come back when he is a grown up, and to stop mucking you around.
You don't deserve a guy like this.
Good luck.

[selinamc]

Thanks guys, i think im guna maybe leave it with him and just be friends as him frequently changing his mind ans mood swings are just going to do my head in. Even if he doesnt mean half of what he says, its just not worth the hassle is it? hes a nice guy but as u sed, an emotional control freak is spot on id say.

[Dusty Bin]

Can I ask how you met this fella and why you speak to him online and not either on the phone or face-to-face?

[selinamc]

I met him in a local bar on a weekend, but ive met up with him a few times since then.
have spoken to him on the phone a couple of times but its just easier to speak on msn usually.

[SurreyGuy]

So because ONE guy is being an idiot, ALL GUYS are the same, are they?!

I have had some AWFUL things done to me in the past (as I dare say EVERYONE else has), but I don't view it that ALL women are the same (they're NOT!) nor do I find it hard to trust women (S**T happens!)!

selinamc, please view us guys as INDIVIDUALS!

[alishalexy]

Get out and keep away from this person. He messes with your head ,he playes games. He just wants fun, when he wants it. He has an ex and 2 kids, he can't commit to them nevermind you. You are asking for it if you get involved with this. God my brother was right women make themselves victims. All the signs are there read between your lines. I cannot believe your still considering it. I give up.