there is a very good place for young people who need help to see their way.. thru growing up, dealing with their parents issues etc etc.............its called the foyer and it provides a home for young people who can no longer live at home.......
they are given support and help to deal with.............well growing up !!! they are given freedom but also parameters by which to live..........
they will help her deal with her low self esteem issues, 1-2-1 support, counselling...................... and help the 2 of you deal with the issues that are creating the anger she is displaying towards you........................
together you could arrange for her to live there, together you can be support ive of each other.......you would know she was safe, you would be able to be there for her without the constant strain of dealing with her issues............
possibly you cant deal with her issues because you are a prt of them, the foyer will help you both with that..........
i would recommend the foyer to any parent...........
if shes going to go, dont evict her............help her........................... you'll feel less guilty and you will maintain a relationship for the future
good luck