Drugs

[numnum]

hi new to the forums
i've a question here that i just dont know how to answer

im really against drugs but one of my sons friends mums childs dad is involved in heroin.

we all have a monthly get to gether at each others house and i found this out before i went to her house.

i wasn't to happy about it since im against drugs but went as he wasnt there.

the lady is really nice and is a shame shes involved with someone like that

what im now annoyed at is i called my boyfriend sister to say my concerns, she was like dont worry now shes told her sister in law and she was saying how the sister had said that it was my boyfriend putting the panic into me.

it was nothing to do with him. i've just found it hard as we've moved away and where i used to live me and friends didnt get involved in drugs or have to associate with anyne that did. now we've moved to a small place and every other person is on something and i'm finding it hard to accept this being so against it and really cant avoid it here

[numnum]

also feel bad about being so against drugs then taking my wee one to the centre of things

im now worried my boyfriends sister and everyone think i'm daft but its how i've been brought up and its just not my thing. i would like to have a good answer ready for when they start saying i'm being silly or making a big deal or nothing

if you want to do that sort of thing then fair enough but not when kids are involved

[silverlace]

Gotta say you lost me there with that sons mums dads friends childs. I was so busy trying to work that out I couldnt think of anything else. Take care anyway. Drugs are bad!

[Mrs Y]

Mmm, must admit you lost me a bit there too (surely your son's friend's mum's child must be your son's friend's half-brother/sister?).

Anyway, I think basically you want to know how to deal with living in an area where drugs are the 'norm' and you are very anti them. Hope I've got the right end of the stick there!?

The area I live in is pretty run down, and there are certain parts of it that are no-go. Drugs and alcohol are pretty much every day occurences, so I think I can kind of imagine what it's like for you.

All I can suggest is to just make it clear to your friend / brother / sister-in-law / whoever wants to know that you don't agree with drugs, and just leave it at that. It's not worth falling out with friends for; there's no reason why you shouldn't visit your friend if there is no drug activity taking place while you're there.

How old is your son? I think it's important that he knows the difference between right and wrong, but it's impossible to shield him from drugs for the rest of his life. Try not to make too much of an issue of it, either to your son or your friend. At the end of the day, you've got to live there, and it's just not worth rocking the boat.

In my experience, where I live, the druggies never cause any problems for the rest of us, and we leave them alone to carry on with their own business. It's far from ideal, but that's life. Good luck x

[trish432]

I don`t think you`re making a big deal out of nothing, it`s your prerogative to say what you think.
Having said that, it does seem to becoming the norm these days, and as long as there is no drug taking or the resultant behaviour, when your children are around, I wouldn`t over worry.
It`s a sad indictment on today`s society that we have to put up with these things.
There is a lovely family around the corner from us, and I was amazed to find out recently that the father is a heroin addict. Both parents work, the children are polite and well behaved teenagers, more than I can say for one of my own teenage grandchildren.

[Ice.Maiden]

I'm sorry, but I wouldn't knowingly allow my children anywhere near people who take drugs. It's not just what the children might see or find, but you could unwittingly get roped into all sorts of things. It's no good saying - ah well, lots of folk use drugs these days - and then moan about it when something bad happens. If changes are to be brought in, and users be able to get the support and help they might want, then the rest of us have to take a stand.

[Nannyjill]

It's difficult sometimes to take a stand though. A family were dealing from the house opposite where I used to live and my neighbour reported it to the local police who were going to use her spare room to virtually spy on them but the Drud Squad wouldn't allow them to as they said they weren't the ones they wanted and they were aware of the family.

She took a stance and received no end of threats from them. Not always easy.

[Ice.Maiden]

The stance is...that you don't go to these peoples houses, and don't encourage your children to mix with them either. If someone makes a friend of a drug taker, then there's probably no harm in inviting this friend round to YOUR place for coffee, etc - providing that they don't continue their habit under your roof. Tbh, they're not worth a light.

[Nannyjill]

I know what you are saying Ice maiden ,thankfully my children were grown up, but my neighbour quite rightly didn't let her teenage daughter into their house to see the sister of one of them which started a lot of trouble.

It tore her family apart

[Ice.Maiden]

Yes, unfortunately this happens. I'm afraid these people become a breed apart, all through their own stupidity. I'm not blind. I know many decent, hard-working people who might've had a spliff in the past, or dabbled now and again, but they had the sense to move on, instead of getting adicted and sliding the slippery slope. There's no easy answer, I know, but if I knew that my own children were mixing in those circles, or taking stuff themselves, they'd be removed from the temptation. Not always possible, but not many folk are forced into drug taking. They do it because they want to, or they simply get addicted. Then it robs them of any common sense in trying to get clean. Sorry to hear of your prob, though. x

[Nannyjill]

The only winners in drugs are the guys at the top that rarely seem to get caught.