A man turns up at the hospital carrying a shoe box under his arm,

[Groupie]

he goes up to a nurse and opens the box. Inside is a giant steaming turd. The nurse looks shocked and asks the man why he's bought the turd. "Because I need to see an optician," he says.
The nurse says, "don`t you mean a dietician?"
"No," says the man, "I need an optician, 'cause every time I do one of these my eyes start to water."

[baitress]

Hey it can't be that bad on.knowledge hasn't reported it yet

[on.knowledge]

how much did the turd cost?
a strange thing to buy, i must say.

[leylander]

why was it steaming?

[leylander]

how did he keep it warm??