Would you tell your best friend....

[mrs_overall]

....if her husband was having an affair?

[China Doll]

Going against the grain - No, I probably wouldn't tell her outright actually. I would have done the option to the hubby of you stop it now and she never has to know but clearly that hasn't worked so I would be more likely to meet him and tell him categorically that if he hasn't told her by such and such a time then (and only then) would I broach the subject.

The reason I say this is because you can never be 100% sure of what is and isn't allowed in another persons relationship and because if it is someone else telling them then it adds to the feeling of humiliation. I would do everything in my power to make the hubby tell her so that she could then tell me herself. As stated, you don't know what her reaction to you guys will be if you tell her and she does stay with him.

Tough call though Mrs O!

[Nannyjillx2]

Id tell her but just choose 1 person otherwise I think it will look like you've all been gossiping about her which you obviously had to but it will be less humiliating if one person tells her and not 4

[dot.hawkes]

How do you know that she doesn;t already know, if she then knew that you all knew she would be devastated if she loves him and is trying to ignore what he is doing.

[smudge]

As you know from your other thread mrs_o, I hadn't seen this one before now.

Poor woman !

I have to say - if it were me, which thankfully it isn't, I would be absolutely mortified & humiliated to be told by more than one person at the same time! Especially if all I wanted to do was cry.

I would definitely either chose one good close friend to 'gently' tell her - or, my first option would be to speak to her husband & give him the chance to tell her himself. Let him squirm.....

Either way, this woman should know - 'specially if she's widowed & he's only after her money. (If that is true).

Thing is, she may forgive him, then find it difficult to face you & all who knew about it again.

Good luck. -xx-

[craft1948]

When I was married I lived in a small village where everyone knew everybody elses business. One night my next door neighbour came round in tears saying she had just thrown her husband out as she suspected he was having an affair. It was common knowledge that he had definitely had many affairs. I talked to her until 3 in the morning with the usual 'you'll manage' and 'you're better off without him'. 2 months later she took him back and told him everything I'd said!!
Until he actually left her and the 2 kids for a nineteen year old the atmosphere was pure poison.

[smudge]

There you go craft! That's why my last para said 'she may forgive him....etc. You just never know how people will react in situations like this. More fool her though.

You must have felt awful that she'd confided in you, then let you down. Some people aren't worth air space!

You were kind & had her best interests at heart, so that's all that matters craft!

[McMouse]

Well did you tell her Mrs_O?