kids spending night

[scraphappy]

Should I allow my kids to ask family and friends to spend the night at their house? My family (meaning the kids' grandparents, aunts and uncles) thinks that my kids should just pick up the phone and ask to spend the night. How do you break it to the kids when they say no for what ever reason. I don't think its right to impose on someone, they have a life too. Why can't they ask, kids always say yes. Help me!!!Thank You!

[pjm007]

What you could do is phone the family member and say that the kids have been saying that they would like to spend the night, but are too embarassed/shy to ask. Then ask the family member to phone up to speak to the kids and ask them if they would like to stay over.

[woofgang]

Sorry I'm confused. Are the kids asking people to your house or are they asking to go and stay somewhere else? And if it is the kids doing the asking, why do you have to break it to them when someone says no?

If they are asking people to sleep over at your house then I think that you should have a rule that says that they must check with you before inviting. After all, it is your house.

If they are asking to go visit others, then too they should get your permission before they ask as you might have something else planned.

If the people that they are asking don't mind them asking, and have told you and the kids this, then I don't see a problem, but its then up to them to say no if its not convenient!

[scraphappy]

Thanks for both of your guys' answers!!!  My problem is that my husband and I both work 40+ hours.  We run around to this and that appt and don't really have down time at home.  The kids are not usually looking to go more places but will go if asked.  The grandparents, I don't mind if they ask to go over to their house to spend the night, but the aunt has a family of her own and stay busy as well.  I have two opposite kids the oldest age 12 is an angel.  The youngest is 8 and has ADHD and has alot of energy.  The grandparents and aunt love to have the angel over but the youngest is not always on the top of their list for overnighters.  But at the same time they want the kids to call (mostly the angel)  to come over.  All but two doesn't work, why should I always be the one to call to have the kids come over.  They have a phone and voice too.  In fact my sister is always over there with her 2 kids, and shes the kind that thinks you always want to see her and her kids.  My dad has not told her he's been on vacation once just so he can get other things done.  Just to say they have a life as well.   When my sister reminds me that I have said for my nephew to spend the night, I feel that I have to give reasons why I haven't had him over. The family consists of my mom, his mom, my dad and stepmom, my sister and his brother and their families.  They never ask for my kids to come over but I try to have their kids over  quite a bit.  Any questions just ask.  Thanks for all your help!!!