To Live with him or not

[dyslexicme]

Please share your views
My boyfriend wishes to settle down with me and marry. I am 42 he is 51 I love him dearly and I know he loves me. But what worries me is, he has no money no assets and he claims tax credit for low income He rents his flat through a housing Association. I have encouraged him to buy his flat but he refuses to go down that road and also refuses to exchange to a different town I own my own 2 properties I have worked very hard to get them and keep mortgages going on both. He says that if he moves in with me he will want a signed agreement stating that if he has to move out, I give him a lump sum in order for him to set up home somewhere else. I have suffered before and lost everything .I am a little scarred of loosing everything I have worked for. Would I have to give him half of everything if we split up or should we just live separately ?. .My heart tells me to take him under my wing but then I worry about trusting my heart.

[dyslexicme]

888sally888
Fri 13/02/09
08:37


Dont do it - please!
Sally did something like this happen to you?

[cassa333]

This poor bloke with his flat and job just wants security. A lump sum doesn't have to be tens of thousands or enough to buy a place it could be, I don't know �1500 as a deposit and a months rent. Not unreasonable if he is suddenly going to be made homeless and have to start over again.

There is a reason he is in a low paid job. What is it dyslexicme? I am assuming you have talked to him about such things since you met! Is he as thick as a plank and incapable of being a big earner? or inteligent and can't be bothered to get anything better?

He is in what some would say is exactly the same situation a lot of women find themselves in and is asking exactly the same thing of their new partners. I am giving up everything I have so give me security in case this fails. If he were a women you would all be saying that she was doing the right thing in safeguarding her future.

I think you are right to be wary but unless you think you are being conned don't assume he is out to con you.

[mccfluff]

go see a solicitor and get some advice on protecting your assests.

[happyone2]

thank you cassa.............

i think this is supports wht im saying, but has said it with examples and thats brilliant.........

i wonder if more people planned for the unfortunte situaton they might be in IF they split up we wouldnt have so many people having to be helped by the council because they are now homeless............

i see so many people, absolutely shattered by the breakdown of their relationship present themselves at the housing office because they havent got any money and cant even afford to get a bedsit let alone a flat deposit together..........................