Update for Chinadog (as requested)

[shaking]

Had the funeral today for mam, she was given a wonderful send off with a good turn out. Had to hold back the tears though but couldn't have wished for a more beautiful service which was a bit different in that the vicar sang to us all, she would have been chuffed. Thanks for caring and in taking an interest, you have been very supportive along with many others. Thank you everyone who responded to my cry for help.

[brenda]

I shall think of you tonight --God Bless.

[ruthann58]

i have been thinking of you glad to hear you have coped with the first hurdle there are lots of us here for you in the coming months when you need a bit of support you are going to have good days and some will be hell but you will make it through this ,my mum had a little poem pinned on her door tomorrow i will post it on here for you when i need her i just read it and i know she is still with me .love ruth

[devil99]

Bless you shaking, move forward now & keep her memory alive she sounded like a lovely mum.
Ruth you are a kind soul posting a poem xxx

[shaking]

Ruthanne58, pleasse give me the poem, I have so much to do with sorting out mam's affairs etc., need some comfort, don't think there there is anything urgent but thing's need clearing up, no one knows until they have to deal with the aftermaths, thank you for thinking of me.

[shaking]

devil99, I am numb at the moment, am in a thick fog, I know everyone loves their mum but she was so special like everyone's mum. Have lot's to do during the coming weeks, please be with me.

[shaking]

Thank you brenda, wondering if you are the brenda I used to lodge with?

[Mamyalynne]

Another step on the journey we all walk together ,even though at seperate times. Take good care.

Mamya xx

[chinadog]

Hi shaking, Im so relieved that you found the service ideal for your mum especially the vicar singing. As the others say,take things one day at a time and cry whenever you feel the need its part of the grieving process. I would be ironing or cooking with tears flowing but felt cleansed afterwards. This is what I wrote about my parents when I lost them
Those we love don't go away.
They walk beside us everday
Unseen by others,you stand by my side.
I love you too much for death to divide.
Take care shaking,we're all here for you. China xx

[Mamyalynne]

For my dear husband I said:

I never wanted memories,
I only wamted you.

Though memories are all I have now and cherish.

Alll my love and hugs

Mamya x

[johanna02]

You are in my thoughts and prayers tonight Shaking.

Those we love don't go away,
They walk beside us everyday,
Unseen, unheard but always near,
Still loved, still missed,
Still very dear.

XXXXXXXX

[ruthann58]

shaking here is the poem

A spider spun a silken thread
And swung from grass to ground
"I must find out the news" he said
Thats buzzing all around
The garden creatures great and small
Were quiet as a mouse
They saw the caterpillar crawl
Into a tiny house
"Hes such a fool "said the ladybird
As she polished up her nails
"Its the silliest thing Ive ever heard "
Said a pair of solemn snails
So all the creatures went away
All thinking she was dead
Until one bright and lovely day
A little earthworm said
"I see a crack in the little shell
And something moves inside
I see a head and wings as well
Come quick and see" she cried
"The caterpillars back "they said
Before their very eyes
A butterfly stepped out
And smiled at their surprise
"I left the life you thought I knew
You thought that I was dead
I did it just to show to you
We die to grow" she said
Ruthxxx

[chinadog]

Thats lovely and very inspiring ruthann xx

[Naomicorlett]

I posted a reply to your oringal post. Just wanted to say that my thoughts are with you. Bless you .

[shaking]

What a beautiful poem Ruthann58, I hope you don't mind if I print it off to read from time to time, it will be a great comfort. Thank you everyone, sincerely, you have all been so supportive and kind.

[ruthann58]

print it off shaking i have mums copy pinned on my wall in my workroom, if you feel you can not deal with your mums stuff pack it into boxes and store it in your loft until you feel ready my mum has been gone 7 years and it is only these past few months that i have felt ready to start sorting through her bits and pieces do not go by what other people tell you about getting on and clearing out do it when you are ready it wont come to any harm if packed away my mum lived with us for 11 years before she passed away and up until the last year was as fit and healthy as me, we used to love popping to the garden centers and having little trips out ,after she died it was 2 years before i went to our local garden center it just was not right to go with out her ,she spent the last 3 weeks of her life in a home as she was to ill for me to look after but if i had known she was that close to leaving me i would never have let her go there, but hindsite is a wonderful thing isnt it ,you did your best for your mum as did i ,so do everything in your own time and let the tears flow when ever they come on that note i now need the tissues as writing this has started me off love ruth

[shaking]

So sorry Ruthann58 for opening sore wounds. Having a good cry helps though, I have done plenty of that. Your situation sounds exactly the same as mine. As you say hindsight is a wonderful thing but we are not blessed with it. Chin up Ruthann58, and thank you for helping me.

[ruthann58]

shaking no need at all to be sorry , i wish i had known about all the lovely people on here 7 years ago as talking on here helps so much ,sometimes it is easier to talk to strangers then family there always seems to be some one who has been through a similar thing no matter what it is , once again we are all here for you when you need to talk xxx ruth

[shaking]

thanks ruthann58, yes there are some lovely people on this site, they have helped me no end with all sorts. I haven't had a computer very long and get into trouble with the workings of technology, am finding my way through though as I will with my present heartbreak.

[whiskeryron]

ruthann58,thank you for that lovely poem I could hardly read it for brimming eyes, (you ladies are not the only ones to weep) I am an old chap now (83) & my darling wife passed away 12months ago in March after 58 of the happiest years I have ever known, I am still devastated & the poem helps a little to cope,Ron.