this is an extract from the national office of second hand dog trading: the dog you are planning to buy should not show any signs of rusting in our outside the dog, the dog should also not have any traces of salt and vinegar crisps or cheesy waffles, in its stomach or teeth, finding any of theese food stuffs indicates that the dog might have a fancy for crisps and waffles and therefore would be an untrustworthy thing to have around the house if you are a crisp and waffle addict. also the dogs serial port should be accesible and clean, should you need to update the dogs operating system for any reason, before buying a second hand dog always ask the privious owner where the dogs reset button is and what tools you need to access it (ie heated catle prod, shotgun, mallet, axe, chainsaw, grenade, hacksaw, penil, electric eel etc)