ChatterBank3 mins ago
Childhood
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From the age of around 10 and upwards (early '80s) my mum used to force me to do housework and if I didn't I would get a slap across my face. Both my parents worked full time and when I got home from work I had to make my own tea and I used to leave a mess in the kitchen so when she got home she freaked out. On Saturdays she would go shopping and expect me to do all the vacuuming and dusting while she was out. It had to be done by the time she got back otherwise again she would freak. I used to lock myself in the bathroom if I hadn't done it cos I knew what was coming.
All this from the age of 10. Is it considered normal for a 10 year old to do housework? All I wanted to do was watch Tiswas!!! Lol
All this from the age of 10. Is it considered normal for a 10 year old to do housework? All I wanted to do was watch Tiswas!!! Lol
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One of my brother in laws can't hear very well and I swear it is because they were all hit round the head as children (a minor punishment )
I would never leave my 2 with my mil over night although it was more my fil than her.
It's odd as she'll say don't tell him off to me if I make mine sit on the naughty step.
I would never leave my 2 with my mil over night although it was more my fil than her.
It's odd as she'll say don't tell him off to me if I make mine sit on the naughty step.
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At 10 the youngest sibling was born & I was 'in charge' of them & home while parents worked their sox off to pay for roof over 4 kids - hard times!
Washing/ironing/cleaning/caring - everything in the home, garden, siblings & baby bruv. Got back of hairbrush on bum for neglect of babe etc. I've never struggled like my parents did as they laid down good financial/social/educational roots for us.
Washing/ironing/cleaning/caring - everything in the home, garden, siblings & baby bruv. Got back of hairbrush on bum for neglect of babe etc. I've never struggled like my parents did as they laid down good financial/social/educational roots for us.
I got 50p a week pocket money until i was 14, then it went up to a whole �1!! Which even in early 90's didnt go far.
If i wanted anything else, it was up to me to earn it, so i got my first saturday job in a shop aged 15, also worked there f/t at Christmas and summer holidays and odd days at easter, half term etc till i left school after A levels. Then did the same at NEXT at every term holiday at uni.
If you want it, you earn it. Nothing wrong with that as an ethic.
We did some chores at home, but getting paid for them wasnt part of the deal- it was seen as making a contribution, from when i was 12, i was usually in charge of cooking dinner for dad and sis when my mum was working late, or at one of her council/governors meetings. Good thing about that is that i'm not a bad little cook these days!
If i wanted anything else, it was up to me to earn it, so i got my first saturday job in a shop aged 15, also worked there f/t at Christmas and summer holidays and odd days at easter, half term etc till i left school after A levels. Then did the same at NEXT at every term holiday at uni.
If you want it, you earn it. Nothing wrong with that as an ethic.
We did some chores at home, but getting paid for them wasnt part of the deal- it was seen as making a contribution, from when i was 12, i was usually in charge of cooking dinner for dad and sis when my mum was working late, or at one of her council/governors meetings. Good thing about that is that i'm not a bad little cook these days!
I think there are two totally different topics that you've raised tbh tigger, one is bieng hit unacceptably by your parents and the other is being expected to do chores/ housework.
As i was very badly abused myself by my father when i was a kid I have NEVER hit any of my children but from an early age they have been expected to keep their environment tidy and clean and nice to live in. I believe that it breeds a good work ethic, confidence and self respect for a child to have a certain level of responsibility. To be given everything and to be waited on hand and foot does no child any good, nor does it give it a sense of self worth, only one of entitlement, which won't serve it well in the really real world imho.
Once my kids had done their ' normal' chores if they then chose to do additional things they were paid very well for it, so they learned the value of money and their own hard work and looked after and enjoyed the things they bought with it.
So yes I think it's normal to expect children to work within their home environment but it's definately not acceptable to hit a child for any reason in my book.
As i was very badly abused myself by my father when i was a kid I have NEVER hit any of my children but from an early age they have been expected to keep their environment tidy and clean and nice to live in. I believe that it breeds a good work ethic, confidence and self respect for a child to have a certain level of responsibility. To be given everything and to be waited on hand and foot does no child any good, nor does it give it a sense of self worth, only one of entitlement, which won't serve it well in the really real world imho.
Once my kids had done their ' normal' chores if they then chose to do additional things they were paid very well for it, so they learned the value of money and their own hard work and looked after and enjoyed the things they bought with it.
So yes I think it's normal to expect children to work within their home environment but it's definately not acceptable to hit a child for any reason in my book.
kira....wonderful.
The shop bit at 15yrs old reminds me when i was at that age. I had several jobs, but one of them was at this upmarket grocers shop which would also deliver to the home. I was that boy who had a bicycle and would load up the orders onto my bike in a large outhose which acted as a store. One morning, a married woman who was the supervisor, tried to kiss me behind the baked beans and I was so young I resisted.
Fool me, I always look back and wished what I know now, I knew then. LOL LOL
The shop bit at 15yrs old reminds me when i was at that age. I had several jobs, but one of them was at this upmarket grocers shop which would also deliver to the home. I was that boy who had a bicycle and would load up the orders onto my bike in a large outhose which acted as a store. One morning, a married woman who was the supervisor, tried to kiss me behind the baked beans and I was so young I resisted.
Fool me, I always look back and wished what I know now, I knew then. LOL LOL
Tigger- the bit about not being allowed out had some echoes with me. From when they were about 13 all my mates used to go to town on saturdays shopping, or sometimes up into London- without parents SHOCK HORROR!
My mum and dad would never let me go, whch had the result as well as feeling a bit left out and isolated, that i had never been on a bus or train by myself until i was about 15/16. They finally gave in, and for about 6 months i nearly had a panic attack everytime that i was going to get on the wrong bus/wrong train/wrong direction.
In the end i got so sick of feeling a wreck and feeling uncomfortable with people and not wanting to go out incase people could spot that i didnt fit in, that aged about 16.5, i started watching how everyone else acted and what they did, and kind of "invented" another me who was confident with people and didnt mind being out and about alone. Took about 6 months or so for it to become a natural part of me, and now if i remind my mates from back then (who i still see) what a scaredy cat i was, they laugh and say i'm lying, and that i was always the most confident of the bunch. Appearances can be deceptive eh!
My mum and dad would never let me go, whch had the result as well as feeling a bit left out and isolated, that i had never been on a bus or train by myself until i was about 15/16. They finally gave in, and for about 6 months i nearly had a panic attack everytime that i was going to get on the wrong bus/wrong train/wrong direction.
In the end i got so sick of feeling a wreck and feeling uncomfortable with people and not wanting to go out incase people could spot that i didnt fit in, that aged about 16.5, i started watching how everyone else acted and what they did, and kind of "invented" another me who was confident with people and didnt mind being out and about alone. Took about 6 months or so for it to become a natural part of me, and now if i remind my mates from back then (who i still see) what a scaredy cat i was, they laugh and say i'm lying, and that i was always the most confident of the bunch. Appearances can be deceptive eh!
Thank you all for your answers and contribution. Kira you have hit the nail on the head there. When I did start going out I felt awkward specially on trains and buses. All my friends knew what they were doing and where they were going and I just followed them like a little lost sheep. I could never go anywhere on my own as I was too scared.
When I was nearly 18 I received free entry tickets to a nightclub called The Blue Orchid in Croydon for my 18th birthday. My dad said I couldn't go and I said I was going no matter what he said. He flew in a rage at me and started hitting me and pulling my hair. My mum tried to get him off me but she had my brother in her arms. He was a few months old at the time. Needless to say I ended up not going as I was too ashamed to go anywhere.
When I was nearly 18 I received free entry tickets to a nightclub called The Blue Orchid in Croydon for my 18th birthday. My dad said I couldn't go and I said I was going no matter what he said. He flew in a rage at me and started hitting me and pulling my hair. My mum tried to get him off me but she had my brother in her arms. He was a few months old at the time. Needless to say I ended up not going as I was too ashamed to go anywhere.
OH TIGGER! LOLOLOL
The Blue Orchid How funny! I went there once with a big group of male and female mates, and the girls all got in easily and free, just walked in, and they stoped half the boys from entering at all, and the others had to pay �7 each. Got in there and it was DIRE! Dark and tatty and full of what my parents would call undesirables!
So you didnt miss much! But at the time, i can empathise, it sucked! Once i got into "other me", i spent many many hot sweaty evenings at Options in Kingston for various peoples birthdays on their "tickets".
I do sympthise about the feeling left out and awkward. I could so easily have let it become a permanent part of me. I just had a moment ine day when i saw the two paths- staying home alone for ever more feeling lonely, or giving myself a huge kick up the arse and being brave. Toughest thing at the time. And i still have days (mainly hormonal ones!) when i just get affected by something and go back to the self conscious not fitting in me. Happened last week actually and instead of going out to meet my old work team, i stayed in an had a little cry on the sofa with my OH.
Its made me very concious about the need to give any future kids i may have, freedom and confidence. I wouldnt want them to feel how i did.
The Blue Orchid How funny! I went there once with a big group of male and female mates, and the girls all got in easily and free, just walked in, and they stoped half the boys from entering at all, and the others had to pay �7 each. Got in there and it was DIRE! Dark and tatty and full of what my parents would call undesirables!
So you didnt miss much! But at the time, i can empathise, it sucked! Once i got into "other me", i spent many many hot sweaty evenings at Options in Kingston for various peoples birthdays on their "tickets".
I do sympthise about the feeling left out and awkward. I could so easily have let it become a permanent part of me. I just had a moment ine day when i saw the two paths- staying home alone for ever more feeling lonely, or giving myself a huge kick up the arse and being brave. Toughest thing at the time. And i still have days (mainly hormonal ones!) when i just get affected by something and go back to the self conscious not fitting in me. Happened last week actually and instead of going out to meet my old work team, i stayed in an had a little cry on the sofa with my OH.
Its made me very concious about the need to give any future kids i may have, freedom and confidence. I wouldnt want them to feel how i did.
At the time Kira it was all I wanted to do. I'd never been into a nightclub before and at that age you just want to do what everybody else is doing. I did go there eventually when I was 21. Funnily enough I can't stand nightclubs or pubs anymore. During my 20's I spend nearly every Friday night in Yates's. I hate going into these places now which is why I would rather go on a day trip to somewhere nice/historical than out drinking myself stupid.
I'm trying to find a way of diddling the lottery Postdog. So far I have hit a brick wall :o(
I'm trying to find a way of diddling the lottery Postdog. So far I have hit a brick wall :o(
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