goin back to work

[carliex]

hey i was wondering if anyone found it so hard to leave there baby? im goin back to work june and im dreading it i work at a nursery and i know what goes on and i cant leave her there! im stayin awake at nite worrying about leaving her iv never spent a day/nite away from her and never want to:( i wont even let my mum or partner have her on his own, i dont let him get up with her in the nite cus i need to make sure everythin is done rite and she is happy its so horrable!

[mountainboo]

My answer probably wont help but my husband and I have never left our 1 year old son with anyone for any length of time due in most part to our over protective and untrusting nature.

I am lucky in the respect that my husband babysits for me when I go to college etc. Maybe it's time you let someone close to you look after your daughter as opposed to a Nursery (for which I have the same feelings about). Give them the opportunity to look after her for a short time and gradually increase the time she is with them until you go back to work.

[mumof3angels]

Carliex I understand exactly how you feel-my youngest started full time school in Sept, and I'm finally looking for a part time job after 12 yrs of being a full time mum. What worries me is the fact you say that you work at a nursery and 'know what goes on.'-What does go on that you wouldn't leave your baby at a nursery?

[k8bailey]

I'm intrigued about your "what goes on" comment too?

In a way I had no choice about leaving my LO. When she was first born I was so ill I couldn't take care of her so my partner did, then I needed to go back into hospital and my mum had her. For a long time they were the only other people I could trust with her.

She is now 10 months old and I returned to work in January. There are still certain people I wouldn't leave her with - my MIL!! But putting her into a nursery was actually a lot easier than I thought it would be. The nursery is attatched to the college where I work, so its very close and its only for a couple of days a week.

Would/could she go to the nursery you work at? Would that be easier knowing who she was with? I really would advise you to try leaving her with a trusted friend or relative or even your partner even if its only for an hour! You need a break and IMO its good for kids to have a break too, meet new people etc.

[Mully79]

Hi Carlie

It is difficult, but if you have no choice, then it is something you have to inevitably deal with. I hated it and dreaded the back-to-work date. We were lucky to find a really good nursery and that helped immensely. We as parents have a great rapport and relaxed attitude with all the staff and this has benefitted our daughter as well. Is it not possible for your little one to attend the nursery you work at? I know some of the girls who work at ours do that, and it's not only cheaper for them but also means they can keep an eye on their little one.

From age 3 months to 2 years we allowed only my parents or my husband's mother to look after our LO, and that was only for 3 - 4 hours if we went out for a meal or theatre, and perhaps only once every couple of months. I always used to worry, and would phone or text to see what was happening while I was away! We co-slept too so I was always with her.

It was only when she reached 2 years old that we allowed her to stay overnight - but only at my parents' house, where I knew they would not do anything I disagreed with and where she would be safe. That's happened a handful of times (she is now 3).

I think you should relax, visit a few childminders etc (or speak to family) and find somewhere you are really comfortable with your child staying whilst you work. And make sure it's okay for you to phone / drop in at any time. This will put you at ease when you return to work. And it will get better - it just takes a while to accept the situation!

[redcrx]

can she not go to the nursery that you work at?

what on earth goes on there that is worrying you (and others that are reading this thread?)

[tigwig]

I know exactly how you feel. I went back to work when my daughter was then 5 months. My mum looked after her for the 2 days I worked. It was the hardest thing ever but you do get used to it. I work in a nursery too and no I wouldn't ever have put my own child in their either! Not because its horrible, far from it but babies just do not get the love and attention they need. I would say out of the 12-18 babies in the room only around half of them at the most enjoy their time there. the babies who cry alot can't always get picked up cos you have too much to do, sadly now most of this is paper work. In my opinion, only confident babies benefit from nursery and it does break my heart when the quiet ones cry and all they want is a cuddle but because there is loads of them crying, bottles to give, nappies to change and everything else they get left too much. This is one of the main reasons I have started childminding. The numbers are too high in nurseries, especially the one I work at.

[crazycathy2]

I've gone back part time only been there 2 weeks and my youngest is 19 months. My best friend has my 2 and when she works I have her 2. They are always with each other anyway.

But it is hard, very hard . Always think they won't get the attention you can give them

[carliex]

hi its nothin really bad jst they are not there own children so they dont really bother with them, and my nursery is at top of the list for best nurserys. eg we had a little girl who at 5months used to get very frustrated becus she really wanted to sit up and stand up but as she was so young she couldnt and they used to just leave her crying and say oh for gods sake shut up and throughing her about like a rag doll! they also feed them chocolate and cake everyday at 6months! there alot of younger girls there with no children of there own and all they care about is gettin paid to go out at the weekend, were as i love the job love the children and hate seeing them treating them like this! the older ones if they have done something wrong there being dragged about by the arm! iv worked ina few and iv seen things like this in all of them, its really upsetting to know i have no choice to put her into nursery! i wouldnt be able to work in same room as her either! also if a parent says i want u to do something in a certin way they never do!