Ridiculous neighbour obsession.

[Gromit33]

I'm glad this site is anonymous as I am so embarassed about this, but I have developed a ridiculous obsession with my neighbour. I have tried to be friendly to him and he has only ever been polite back. I get no signals that he is interested in me at all, but I can't stop thinking about him. I am normally a fairly rational, sane (single) woman, but the thought of never knowing what it would be like to touch him is driving me mad. What on earth is wrong with me? Short of moving house, how do you get over this?

[cazzz1975]

it could be because something is lacking in your real life? is your life happy and full at the moment?

[BRIZE]

seems to me that there is nothing wrong with a little fantasy.

If he is married thats all it should be but if he isnt then maybe you could engineer a conversation you never know he may well like you too.

[Gromit33]

Thx for your input. He is not married, or even seeing anyone as far as I know. I agree that a little fantasy is harmless and initially it was nice just to have something to occupy my mind other than the everyday mundane worries but it's become a bit consuming. Fortunately, I have not taken to stalking (too lazy). I wouldn't have the courage to be more direct with him, the thought of seeing horror on his face is enough deterrant.

[chattykathy]

How about you write him a letter? - at least you know where he lives! You could just say you want to get to know him better.

You can suggest that If he doesn't want to know he could at least do the decent thing and sunbathe in the back garden a bit more!!!

Hope your dreams come true!

[waterboatman]

He may be shy too! Ask him in for a drink or a meal or something. He'll say yes or no. Then you will know one way or the other.

[HJT40]

I was the same as you, and didn't know how he felt about me, or if he even knew I existed. I finally plucked up courage to ask him out for a drink as friends and we are getting married at the end of July, needless to say he is no longer a neighbour.

What do you have to loose?

[HJT40]

I was the same as you, and didn't know how he felt about me, or if he even knew I existed. I finally plucked up courage to ask him out for a drink as friends and we are getting married at the end of July, needless to say he is no longer a neighbour.

What do you have to lose?

[Gromit33]

Congratulations!! That is such a lovely story, best wishes for a happy future. I think in my case, though, I will content myself with the odd wave & hello across the street rather than risk making an idiot of myself with someone who I get the impression does not have any interest in me at all.

[jadeymodel]

why dont you find somthing that needs done in the house (something for those big hard men cough cough, however you could knock on his door & ask him if he could do you a big favour n fix it??? Maybe not just now but next time you have a problem ask him if he can help?? This may get the wheels in motion???

x

[lizzydrippin]

Writing him a letter is about the worse thing you could do (but I have a feeling you know that already). How awful would that be to see the guy the next day and have him completely ignore you or worse he might decide to have a word with you and say "sorry missus but there's no chance". Of course there's always the possibility that he'll come running into your arms, but for a bloke who's never given you any indication that he's interested, I don't think thats very likely. But, having said all that, you know summer is just around the corner (we hope) which is the ideal time for those lazy sunny afternoons sat in the garden (and hopefully there's just a fence between the two gardens that you can both see over or through. There's dozens of conversations that you can strike up, about the weather, about gardening, and as time goes on and you've picked up a few pointers as to what he's interested in Im sure the conversations will get deeper and a little more meaningful (perhaps). How hard can it be when you are both free and single? Slowly slowly catchee monkey! Good luck with it anyway!

[HJT40]

I could have made a fool out of myself, but I just suggested that if he fancied a friendly drink one night to let me know. Something told me the first time I saw him there was something about him and I couldn't give up no matter how hard tried, I even went out with someone else.

Chat to him over the fence, always say hello and always smile when you see him.

Mine was so not giving me anything to go on, but I bided my time, something I had never done before.

Go for the slow burn, give it time and get him to look forward to you smiling at him.

Good luck!

[HJT40]

http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/ChatterBank/Que stion568049.html

[Bbbananas]

Oh dear - I had a similar crush/infatuation with a neighbour a while back... he's marrying my best friend in September! And weirdly enough - since she's got with him, I don't now find him attractive in the least, have got to know him better and discovered he wouldn't have been my type at all.

We used to call it 'Neighbourhood Watch'.

[HJT40]

I guess there is always that chance, but in my case I was lucky he wasn't my type or we wouldn't be together now! I was notoriously bad for picking the wrong sort..... Yep this one definitely isn't my type, thank god. ;o)

[Gromit33]

It's good to hear everyone's stories and suggestions. However, I must confess that in the last few days I have given him 2 chances to move things forward and he has been downright cold (I'm a bit paranoid to give details in case someone out there puts 2 + 2 together and rumbles me).
I finally get the message that he's not interested and that's fair enough, but it makes me sadder than he will ever know that he can't at least be friendly.
I wish better luck to anyone else who has a neighbour crush.