ChatterBank1 min ago
Heaven...
6 Answers
I like this one,
St Peter is standing at the gates of heaven looking thoroughly p.ssed off when Jesus turned up and asked him what was wrong? St Peter replied, "Well to tell you the truth boss I've been doing this job for over two thousand years without a day off." Jesus said "Well I've got nothing doing for the next two weeks so what's involved?" Peter said "Well it's easy, they turn up at the gates and if their name is in the big book you let them in and if its not you send them downstairs." Jesus said "You clear off then and have a good time."
He'd been doing the job for a few days, letting some in and sending the unfortunates downstairs when he spied an old chap walking through the clouds who he thought he recognised and beckoned him over. "Excuse me" he said "but when you were alive on Earth, what was your job?" The old chap said "I was a carpenter." Jesus then asked "Did you have a son?" To which the old guy said "Well yes as a matter of fact I did." Jesus again asked him "And this son of yours, did he by any chance have holes in his hands and holes in his feet?" And the old boy said "Yes he did."
Jesus exclaimed "Dad!" and the old boy shouts "Pinnochio!!"
St Peter is standing at the gates of heaven looking thoroughly p.ssed off when Jesus turned up and asked him what was wrong? St Peter replied, "Well to tell you the truth boss I've been doing this job for over two thousand years without a day off." Jesus said "Well I've got nothing doing for the next two weeks so what's involved?" Peter said "Well it's easy, they turn up at the gates and if their name is in the big book you let them in and if its not you send them downstairs." Jesus said "You clear off then and have a good time."
He'd been doing the job for a few days, letting some in and sending the unfortunates downstairs when he spied an old chap walking through the clouds who he thought he recognised and beckoned him over. "Excuse me" he said "but when you were alive on Earth, what was your job?" The old chap said "I was a carpenter." Jesus then asked "Did you have a son?" To which the old guy said "Well yes as a matter of fact I did." Jesus again asked him "And this son of yours, did he by any chance have holes in his hands and holes in his feet?" And the old boy said "Yes he did."
Jesus exclaimed "Dad!" and the old boy shouts "Pinnochio!!"
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A man was blissfully driving along the highway, when he saw the Easter Bunny hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the Bunny, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of his car
and was hit. The basket of eggs went flying all over the place. Candy, too.
The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road, and got out to see what had become of the Bunny carrying the basket. Much to his dismay, the colorful Bunny was dead.
The driver felt guilty and began to cry.
A woman driving down the same highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong.
"I feel terrible," he explained. "I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny and killed it. There may not be an Easter because of me. What should I do? "
The woman told the man not to worry. She knew exactly what to do. She went to her car trunk, and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead Bunny, and sprayed the entire contents of the can onto the little furry animal.
Miraculously the Easter Bunny came to back life, jumped up, picked up the spilled eggs and candy, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped on down the road.
The man was astonished.
He said to the woman, "What in heaven's name is in your spray can? What was it that you sprayed on the Easter Bunny?"
The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label.
It said: "Hair spray. Restores life to dead hair.
and was hit. The basket of eggs went flying all over the place. Candy, too.
The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road, and got out to see what had become of the Bunny carrying the basket. Much to his dismay, the colorful Bunny was dead.
The driver felt guilty and began to cry.
A woman driving down the same highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong.
"I feel terrible," he explained. "I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny and killed it. There may not be an Easter because of me. What should I do? "
The woman told the man not to worry. She knew exactly what to do. She went to her car trunk, and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead Bunny, and sprayed the entire contents of the can onto the little furry animal.
Miraculously the Easter Bunny came to back life, jumped up, picked up the spilled eggs and candy, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped on down the road.
The man was astonished.
He said to the woman, "What in heaven's name is in your spray can? What was it that you sprayed on the Easter Bunny?"
The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label.
It said: "Hair spray. Restores life to dead hair.
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