I've done it again

[Englishbird]

Without boring you with the whole story, i've been in therapy for the last year for an eating disorder and low self esteem.  I thought i was a lot better, then last night was at a friends house and looked at some photos of me and i just look awful.  Today I feel like i want to scratch my skin off, stay indoors under the duvet and am feeling very panicy.  I don't see the same person in the mirror as i do in the photos.  How do i get past this obsession about how i look.  According to other people I'm dillusional and there's nothing wrong with how i look.  I've also just blown out a guy who wants to go out with me, because i can't understand why anyone would .. and yes, i know how stupid that is!!!   :o(

[jno]

There's this silly theory about how the camera never lies. The camera lies a lot. (I take photos; I know. About 19 out of 20 are duds, and portrait shots are particularly likely not to work.) Friends keep photos of you as a souvenir of you, not of your appearance; they don't actually notice if the photo doesn't resemble you at all. Always trust a mirror over a photo.

As for you knowing your response isn't quite right... looks as if your emotions aren't quite in agreement with your brain on this one; but others will be better able to advise you on that.

[netibiza]

You're already on the right track - you know it was stupid to blow out that guy - so recognise the other phobias as being stupid and you'll be fine.  Start to think about other people, orphans anyone and try  to forget about you for a while. I think you are going to be fine.  Good luck and hugs and kisses, yes you are worth it!!!!

[ursula62]

Englishbird, please go and see your GP and get some professional help with your situation. There is no need for you to struggle through this alone.

Best of luck.

[Englishbird]

thank you all x  And andy you're right, i just need to get back in control of it, I'm always preaching to others that you can't expect to be 'cured' and try and see it as a small blip rather than undoing all the work.

[ICEMANSAV]

From your posts you come across as a very likeable person, something that is difficult to to via text. Seek some support as this will help you realise that you are special, best wishes.

[Davaaris]

Englishbird

You need to talk.

Email me at [email removed by AB ED]  and we can sort this thing out.

Andy