Don't like children!!!

[Ducati]

I worship the ground my 18 month old daughter walks on, and since having her my (our) life has become enriched.....................However, I have a problem......................I don't like other peoples kids! I find them generally too noisy, messy, snotty, precocious, annoying and often a mixture of all of these put together: this isn't new, I've never liked kids, however, now I am inevitably mixing with other parents and their kids, this is causing a bit of a problem - I've made excuses not to attend a number of kiddies parties.

 

My questions are, does anybody else feel the same? Am I alone? Is it likely to get better the more I mix with other peoples kids? (Hasn't so far mind).

[ursula62]

Ducati,  It's not the children that are at fault - children learn what they live - blame the parents! However, that being said, you cannot expect others to live by your own principles.

One thing I would say is please don't let your dislike for other children affect your own child/children's social life. Children, particularly of preschool age, need to learn social skills and how to share, play and generally get along with other children, so don't refuse too many invites on your child's behalf.

Try and find a group of like-minded parents that you can trust and share child-centred events with.

Do you have a place of worship? Maybe there are other parents there in a similar position to you, who share your values. It's a thought!

[smudge]

It isn't always easy having to be in the company of other people's children, but by you not wanting to go to other children's parties, will mean that your child will lose out on fun & companionship.

I'm afraid you will just have to bite the bullet & do what is best for your child. You never know, you may even get to enjoy them too! 

[netibiza]

Ducati - there is only one perfect child in the world - and every parent has it!!!!

[Ducati]

Netibiza - damn right.

 

My child does go to the parties, with her mother - I'm the miserable one!

[smudge]

Ducati - I must have misread your comment "I've made excuses not to attend a number of kiddies parties". So you do go after all.

[Dom Tuk]

It is ingrained in nature to think that your child is the most beautiful and precious thing in the world. This is natures way of making you look after your child. (So however badly formed the childs features, the parents will love it, this way we care for our progeny and extend the human race). I think that there is also in our genes the in-built trait to exclude other children who are not our own. this is a subset of the 'selfish gene' hypothesis. In order for our selfish gene to propogate it requires all other genetic materail to be disregarded. So by looking after our own the selfish gene gets its way. Its in nature, its not you Ducati.

[Dom Tuk]

An extension of this theory is that your own childs poo will not smell as another childs poo. this is natures way of ensuring that the parent will tend and care for its own child. Poo is poo and is made of the same material and in the present day of supermarket shopping most babies eat the same stuff but we are programmed to not find our own childs poo revolting. This ingrained trait disapperas after the first few years mind you.

[smudge]

Oh Dom - you're posts did make me smile - so true though! :o)

[smudge]

*your

[Dom Tuk]

Thanks smudge....i have to go and get the kids back from school now and they can clean their own backsides thank you genes or no genes.

[alisonjoy]

i have never  been very maternal so it was a great shock to everyone when i got pregnant with my daughter. if anyone ever handed me a baby i never knew what to do with it and felt very uncomfortable. give me an animal anyday!! when i had my daughter i loved all the attention she got but to this day as much as i love her ,laugh with her and cuddle her i still cannot take to anyone else's kids. by the way my daughter is 11 so it isnt something that will change now!

[dmsjps]

I too never liked kids, unlike my younger sister, who used to knock on neighbours' doors asking if she could take their baby out in the pram for a walk!?!?! Freaky!

I'm afraid I still never liked kids at any age, but now that my oldest is 17, I find I can get on with some of his friends, especially the girls, who don't appear to be so freaked out by some old woman saying hello to them! My daughter is 14 and her friends still seem to be a bit aloof, as though they're too cool to socialise with oldies.

Little kids though? No thanks, no way. I think if you're made like that perhaps you'll never actually be able to force yourself to like them! Watch out when you get the odd one who really warms to you and wants you to be their auntie! Scary stuff.

[smudge]

Sounds familiar - our 15 year old Granddaughter is insistent that she never wants to have children. I've told her that my friend at school used to say the same thing right up into her late 20's, she then went on to have three daughters - two years apart!

Our Granddaughter just doesn't see the attraction of babies, but adores animals - sometimes I can see why - especially after a trip to the supermarket!

[woofgang]

smudge, I am 51, childless by fate not choice and agree with your granddaughter. I quite like babies when they are clean dry and quiet and really get on well with older kids...have changed nappies (niece and godson) but honestly...yuk

[Otrere]

All I can say is - wait till the "terrible two's" kick in. My 2 1/2 year old was a little angel and very well behaved until about 2 months ago. Now she can be the b*tch child from hell. And I still love her to bits and would never be without her.

But sometimes I find her the most snotty, precocious and annoying little **** on this earth!! They're all wonderful till they get a mind of their own. Then you wonder what the hell happened!! Then you'll understand why you think so many other kids are like that - its because they are - and yours (very probably) will be too - but you'll still love the bones in her. Its all part of the fun of being a parent and learning all about having kids.

Welcome to parenthood. LOL

[Otrere]

I did mean to say - I don't like other people's kids either. It all boils down to me being so protective of her.

Maybe now you understand why, when your daughter falls hopelessly in love with the person that is "not good enough for her" (in your eyes) and you vet every boyfriend that she has, where our parents were coming from!!!!

Good luck.

[dirtyharriet]

You aren't the only one. I never wanted kids until I got pregnant , now I have 4 and although I adore them all, I still have problems with other people's kids. Not ALL of them though.
I distinctly remember being warned off letting my son associate with a particular kid who had been in care and expelled from school etc, I invited him round for tea and fell in love with him instantly. He was always in our house.

In my case I have a problem with little kids who came to the house and their parents let them touch and interfere with my possessions which wasn't their fault. I would have never allowed my kids to do that in anyone else's house.
I doubt I will ever like other people's kids in general but it's just a case of tolerating them for your child's sake.