Annoying Husband

[phillipa.d]

Does anyone else husband/partner do this? I go to bed, he stays up. I drift off, but cannot sleep properly because he is downstairs with the tv on. After a couple of hours, I am fully wide awake again, and cannot stand it anymore, and get up and come downstairs. He is asleep in the chair, but wakes hearing me coming down. He gets up and switches the tv off, and goes to bed. I am now back in bed, he has started to snore, and I am wide awake and fuming!!! Sometimes, I think he is not asleep, but watching porn. I dont have a problem with him watching porn particularly, but what if he does fall asleep, and one of my girls wake and come downstairs and see it? I have now had ANOTHER broken night. Then I am tired the next day. So much for the early night. Has anyone else had this problem? it is really winding me up!!

[phillipa.d]

Ice, he comes to bed with me more often than not, like I say, this happens say, 3 times a week. I get up at 7 every morning, so I need to be in bed by 12 at latest, 11 ideally. He works afternoons every other week, so doesnt come in until 10, 10.30 every night of every other week. So he wants his supper (no problem) and to sit and relax and unwind (no problem). He is not tired enough to go to bed at 11. I try to stay up, but this makes me tired the next day.

On weekends he likes to stay up to watch films. I dont like the same films as him (he likes noisy war film or things with bombs and shooting and things blowing up. So I go to bed because I hate the noise of the tv.

EVery other week when he is mornings, and has to be up at 5, he wants to go to bed at 10, which sometimes I find a little early, but this is what we do, and the sleepin in the chair thing never happens on those weeks.

[Ice.Maiden]

Yes, I can see what you mean. You know, I think rather than letting things escalate, you might need to play him at his own game. Could you not bring a quilt downstairs and lay across him on the sofa, or somewhere else? Maybe if you both had a hot drink, for instance, and cuddled up, you could both sleep downstairs now and again. Failing that, have you tried those Nytol things? Some people swear by them to get a decent night's sleep, without waking up groggy. I feel for you hun, really I do. If you're a person who needs some quality sleep, then it must be awful not to get it. x

[phillipa.d]

lol Ice!! :-) I dont feel rejected!! ha ha! i just want unbroken nights of sleep! and for someone to show the same consideration for me and i would show to them!!

[phillipa.d]

That's it! I need quality sleep ( and quite a decent amount) I could no more sleep on a sofa than sleep on a washing line! and hes a big bloke and we got a small sofa! We'd never fit!

Nytol I have tried when I was having trouble going off. They are not very good, and they certainly dont work if you have already been to sleep once, but then woken again and are trying to go back off.

[pinktwink]

it seems you are too accomadating going to bed early when it suiys him what if you stayed up later the nights he wahted an early night and a bit of TLC then head upp late and wake him for his awaited TLC do reverse psychology

[Ice.Maiden]

Awww.... I don't know what else to suggest hun. Lack of sleep's awful. I was just trying to look at it from all angles. Arguing about it certainly won't help, but maybe some other ABers've come across the same problem and might be able to help. Could you rouse him into going with you to walk the dog late at night? The exercise might make you both feel tired at the same time, or, leave him downstairs, knock back a brandy - and fingers crossed for the best! Hope to hear that you find a solution, but for me, it IS bedtime now - and i've got to be up again at 5.30 a.m., so I'll say goodnight to you, and hope you get something sorted out.

[pinktwink]

i'm off too night night will em u tomorrow ice

[phillipa.d]

Right, it is now 20 past 3, so I am sufficiently tired again to go back to bed now. I have to be up early for a hospital appointment, so will have about 3hrs 40mins sleep, when i need about 8 - 9. Great.

I think I will go to the hospital, and leave the six pages of reasons why I hate this lying around for him to find, and hopefully we can discuss when i am back. Seeing it in black and white may make him realise that it is not just me moaning!!! Wish me luck :-)

[phillipa.d]

Thanks for your input guys!! good night!
xxx

[ummmm]

I think that once you have had a baby you'll never fall asleep so easily again.

Once you have made an issue of it it your own head...whatever he's watching!!! then you can't help but wake up.

When you go to bed make him plug in earphones and see how that works. If it doesn't work then it might be the fact that he's not next to you that makes you wake. Subconsciously I think men make us feel safe...

Even though they smell...!!!

[badnews]

Hi Phillipa, I know EXACTLY how u feel!!

My ex (I left him in the end) always stayed up late to watch tv. At first I didnt think anything of it and I wasnt particulary
bothered, but one night I came down stairs and he had been "messing" near the TV and looked VERY guilty, it made me suspicious, so when he went into the kitchen, I had a look and there was a porn dvd in the player!! Now dont get me wrong, I am not a prude, but I was a little ****** off that this was what he was watching as Im always "up for it"!!. Anyway it didnt end there, he would stay up most nights and I could hear the TV (normally something like news or a film) and I would fall asleep, but then I would wake up an hour or so later and the tv was low, sure enough as soon as I "sneaked" downstaires, there he was with his pants down to his knees!!!!!!!!!