......we got a dog from the rescue kennels once, they said it was fully grown, I had my doubts as it had paws like spades. He grew up to be a cross between a wolf hound and a grizzly, moulted all year round and ate anything not nailed down, we went to the beach one day to return to an empty fridge and him lying with his head in it ( his version of air conditioning ) another time we went out shutting the living room door, when we got back we were met with carnage, he had heard the tape on the answer machine with my wife's voice ( she hadn't turned the external volume down ) and convinced she was in the room ate his way through the wall, lath and plaster doesn't half make a mess. Cost a small fortune to repair.
As he was mistreated before we got him he was never completely house trained but as long as the backdoor was left open 24-7 it was ok. Once a week I cleared up the elephant sized piles of dung usually on Saturday. One Saturday early morning about 3am he was going mad barking like a rabid hound from hell, I stumbled out of bed to go and see what the commotion was about to find a copper hanging on to outside handle of the kitchen door. Apparently a neighbour had reported a prowler and after clambering over a few walls came to our house and seeing the back door open made the not unreasonable assumption that the prowler had entered the house only to be greeted by our baying monsterous hound. I said " well I can safely say that nobody has come in here " he agreed and cleared off. Later the same day I went out to clear the faeces up only to discover size ten Dr Marten footprints in everyone of them!
It still brings a smile to my face imagining the coppers partner who waited in the car asking his oppo if he'd trodden in something, it must have been caked up around his ankles!
Alas he is no longer with us having gone to te great kennel in the sky, I still miss the hairy old b-gger......