My butler, Oswald, always greets me with a fresh straitjacket in one hand and its padlock in the other.
Then, my French maid, Cecille, herself suitably attired in my female staff uniform,"le costume d'anniversaire", slowly undresses me with her teeth on my kingsize waterbed until I come over all je ne sais quoix.
Finally, I am strapped and padlocked into aforementioned straitjacket and flung unceremoniously into the family dungeon for the night - where I probably belong !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!