Teenager/ Split personality

[sian744]

Hi all,

I have a 13 yr old teenage boy and a 7 yr old boy with Special needs.

Basically my 13 yr old is a nightmare and i know it's been said before but i am finding it hard to cope!

He is rude, aggressive(verbally) and occasionally pushing up to me with his body strength. He has an attitude at school also and with me at home! The only people he doesn't have an attitude with at my sister(s), his maternal grandma and his dad. My sisters and grandma being because they spoil him and his dad because he is scared of him.

He was recently diagnosed with Dyspraxia so i know that hasn't helped HOWEVER all the behaviour features where there before.

He is occasionally nice, but then i ask him to tidy his room or be a little more understanding with his brother  i get slamming doors, stomping up stairs, the famous "i don't care" and in my face with his defiance.

Has anyone got any advice to coping, i know he won't change overnight, god only knows it might be by the time he's 30!

thanks

[spudqueen]

sian744 I wish I had an answer, but unfortunately I don't and all I can do is sympathise as I too have a 13 year old son, and it's a nightmare. He also has an attitude, is rude or uncommunicative and we have such a problem getting him to do homework. We had a problem with him and one of his teachers earlier this year which has just surfaced again and he's in detention tonight for being rude and not doing homework. (And I have no problem with him being in detention).

We have just bought him a season ticket for his football club for next season, so we have already told him that he'll be missing the first game, and for every detention he gets he'll miss another.

I have also just started him on eye Q, fish oils which I read about in the paper which are supposed to improve concentration etc. I hope that works.

Still, I remember being 13, and feeling SO ANGRY all the time. It's a very difficult time and I do sympathise with my son to some degree, but I find it oh so trying as a parent. I feel myself aging rapidly!

[sian744]

Hi there

thanks for replying, I know it's not easy at all. i do remember myself being a very angry teenager too "i hate you" rings a bell.

My son also has detentions coming out of his ears and i only know as when i am picking him up from school, he's out later then everyone else!

I have his parents evening soon and am kinda dreading it in a way. But i am sure i will get a few nice surprises on the evening too.

What i have just started doing is giving him 50p each time he makes his bed and also for bad behaviour, tv bans as per usual, BUT this time i am letting him buy back tv time out of his money so it's more positive and it's working so far.

I wish they would give parents a teenager manual, they help you out when a baby is born but forget this difficult time!

[sian744]

ps, i forgot to add that i give my youngest fish oil tablets but my oldest has refused to take them, oh well :-(