I have had to throw my daughter out

[lil123]

Due to her behavior and not respecting our home.
At the weekend she had a party in my house and loads of my belongings have been stolen along with money. This has been going on for a long time now and I have just put up with it.
Also found out she is taking drugs.
I know she will try and come back as she is only 18.
What shall I do?
It is so much better for me and my small son without her here though. Much much less stressful

[ummmm]

Don't let her back. At least not for a while. She's an adult now. It might be the kick up the back side she needs.

If you do let her return then you can lay down the ground rules. If she doesn't abide by them chuck her out again.

[wendilla]

I think you need advice and help. You can't let her ruin her life . I know you must be at the end of your tether but a young girl on the street will only get into more harm. Seek help and see if you can resolve the problem. When I read cases like this I am thankful my kids have turned out ok.

[CAJ1]

I sent you an email this morning. I think you did the right thing, you can't risk her bringing drugs into your house and your son putting them into his mouth by accident xx

[tillyh345]

Hi lil123

I have been in this situation, it all started 10-11 years ago! and I am now only just starting a good relationship with my son. I made a lot of mistakes because it isnt easy, far from it the tears I have cried over my son you would not believe. I LOVED HIM and just wanted him to be what I call normal... he really rebelled against me my husband and my younger son, he absolute made life hell for us time and time again. But lookin back we enabled him in lots of ways to abuse us by letting him back into our lives continusously because we wanted to believe he had changed each time. Anyway to cut a long story short, it wasnt until we cut him off and said we loved him but didnt like the life he was leading so he wasnt allowed back again, did he start to take responsibility for himself. Looking back I pampered him too much instead of letting him take the responsibilities of his shortcomings such as not going to work and not keeping appointments etc. We have come a long way and it has been the most horrendous journey. My advice would be for your son and yourself, dont let her back, let her visit feed her but thats it! Be strong, I know itas very hard but I believe now its the only way. Good Luck xx

[woofgang]

setting your feelings aside, you have the safety of a minor (your young son) to consider. Yes get help, yes do what you reasonably can to help your daughter but she is 18...an adult and responsible for her own life....sorry i think you need to put your younger son first and tell her that

[B00]

I threw my daughter out last year too. She was 20, and had no intention of getting or even looking for a job. Mind you, she wouldn't have had the time, she wouldn't get out of bed til at least 4pm each day!

Eventually, after coming home from work knackered one night and seeing the house in a tip and her loafing on the sofa still in her PJ's I snapped and told her she had a month to get herself somewhere else to live as she was out the door.

I think she thought I was joking, or hust mouthing off. Boy was she in for a shock when she went out and came back to her stuff packed in bags outside and the door locked!

She slept on a friends sofa for a week or so until she was able to flat share with her friend. She's still there now, and has pulled herself together a bit even going so far as to get herself a job!!!

I did feel guilty, but I reasoned with myself she was 20, not a child and it was about time she grew up and stopped sponging off me!

Stick to your guns lil, what you've done will eventually be the kick up the bum your daughter needed.

Good luck!!

[wendilla]

Yes probably your replies are right as I have never had to deal with the situation. But I still say you need help to see if you can get this sorted before she lands up on the streets homeless.

[ravenmiss]

Speak to parentline plus, they may be able to help, it must be very hard for you but definnitely stress the importance of your son not growing up around this type of situation. www.parentlineplus.org.uk

[katerich48]

What about telling her she can come back - But she can't have her own door key until she gets a job.. This may limit her behaviour a bit

[zzxxee]

im sure this was posted a while back am i wrong????