Crying in my dreams

[clydeserani]

How can i stop this from happening..How can I protect myself before I sleep..I have had a great loss recently that I find hard enough to deal with when I am awake but now when I sleep I am crying and sobbing in my dreams and wake up feeling completely drained and exhausted..

I dont want to go to sleep anymore but obviously I know it is inevitable..

[*Princess*]

Have you thought about counselling?

I'm so sorry for your loss, and it's so awful to hear that you're not coping :o(

Seeing a counsellor could help you put your thoughts in order and help you recover from this trauma. It doesn't make you weak to seek help, it can really make you feel better.

A GP can refer you to a counsellor, or you could go private. Whatever you decide I wish you luck and hope you feel better soon x

[clydeserani]

Thanks Princess, Im going to the Doc this week...I do need counselling to come to terms with whats happened and I will gladly take it...I wish there was a quick fix in the meantime..im scared to go to sleep hence the reason im still on here at this time of night...

The only time I have a peaceful sleep is when I am with my partner but unfortunately we cant be together very often..

Im gonna run a hot bath and have some Horlicks in a wee while and read my Angel poem.


xx

[*Princess*]

I'm so so sorry that you've had it tough.

Well Done for taking the first steps to seeing the doctor, that is a massive achievement and you should feel so proud of yourself for making it.

Unfortunately, the NHS waiting lists to see a psychologist can be long-ish, so I'm worried for you, as to what you will do between now and then, from personal experience, all I can suggest is:

1. Have a hot milky drink before you go to sleep, there is a chemical released in milk, when it is heated, which can aid sleep.

2. Try and 'tire yourself out' through the day, so you will sleep at night. Swimming, walking far, even just a walk round the block before you try to sleep can work wonders.

3. Read in bed. Sometimes it can help knock you off.

4. Do you have an ipod/mp3/personal CD player? Sometimes listening to music can help you sleep. I literally can't fall asleep WITHOUT listening to music, I think it's because it can drown out the silence, and make you feel less alone. It might help :o)

5. Hot baths are amazing. Make sure you've had something to eat (cos being hungry keeps you awake) and get in your PJ's then climb into bed and you might fall asleep quicker.

I don't know what's happened to you, but it's sounds traumatic. I hope you are feeling better soon xxx

[pinktwink]

sorry for your loss but a good bedtime routine will help your body learn to relax. Apart from princesses ideas put lavender on your pillow or burn some in your room. Can you talk to friends. Ring one of the hotlines at night if you are scared. Good luck with dr

[clydeserani]

Princess and Pinktwink, thankyou so much...

I am running the hot bath and making the Horlicks...
Pinktwink, I cant believe I forgot about Lavender, I have Ylang Ylang which I will put on my pillow tonight and I will get Lavender tomorrow..

thankyou again for your kind thoughts..

It never ceases to amaze me the good wishes, comfort, sometimes annoyance and laughter you can get from this site.

night night..xx

[pizza]

Sorry to hear about your loss hope you manage to get your bedtime routine sorted ,every one needs their sleep to let their body recover from the strains and stresses of every day life which obviously at the moment is much worse for you after your loss x
I am glad you are seeking help and hope you get all the help and support you need at this terrible time.
My good wishes and thoughts are with you x

[Charisse]

I am sorry for your loss and apart from all of the good advice given here I suggest writing down everything that is going through your mind before you go to sleep. I did this during a traumatic period following bereavement on the advice of a CRUSE counsellor and it helped. Somehow by writing down your fears, it makes them more tangible which means you can "do" something about them. Good Luck.

[Charisse]

I should add that part of this technique is to close the journal/notebook and put it away out of sight and easy reach. The trick is to write everything down so that you "empty" your mind, and deal with it in the day with help from family or counsellor.

[Schutzengel]

Clydeserani. I feel so much for you, in your loss and your difficulty in sleeping. I am just coming out of a similar period of adjustment following a very traumatic event in the family, which resulted in my having scary nightmares night after night, until like you I was scared to go to sleep. I tried most of the very good advice given to you by previous posters, which did help quite a lot. The interesting thing is that you are able to sleep when you are with your partner, so obviously you feel safe then. As I found, bed can be a lonely place when you don't feel safe. I'm sure you will think this is totally daft, but the thing that really helped me, was buying my self a large teddy bear to cuddle in bed. In some strange way it gave me a sense of security, and things gradually got better. Of course you could hide the teddy bear away when your partner is with you, and cuddle your partner instead. Your loss is so recent and I can understand how hard it is for you. I promise you it will get better eventually, but it will take time. I also promise you that you will be in my thoughts and prayers until you are feeling stronger. My very best wishes. Schutz.

[wolf63]

My psychologist told me that dreams were our way of coping with life. Dreams help us to work through issues file away things that have happened to us. She said that dreams are good for us.

However this was the same person who told me not to be concerned when I hallucinate or hear voices. ;-)

I am sorry about your loss - everybody deals with loss differently. I hope that your doctor can help - even if he just listens to you.

Good luck - I can send you a tom cat to cuddle.

[Schutzengel]

Hi Clydeserani, Wolf and myself seem to be on the same wavelength in realising that it is comfort that you need as you come to terms with what happened. All the messages from the other previous posters also explain good methods that work, which are also comfort inducing. Good luck. Schutz.

[Eve]

I think comfort is a fantastic idea.

My cat is an amazing comfort to me, when he's curled up on my bed next to me, it just calms me.

I make sure I'm really comfy, have a lovely soft throw to cuddle up in and wrap round me, make sure I have loads of fresh air and have a lavender spray for my pillow.

I also find I can't sleep if I have low blood sugar so have some treats on standby so if I wake up I can grab it and get back to sleep.

I tend to wake up in stages, it helps disrupt dreams. I set my alarm for 5 then get up and have a drink and doze on the sofa with the TV til and alarm at 6 then doze on until I get up about 7 for work.

It gives me a chance to feel like I'm recouping and even though I will still dream, they are shorter and not so memorable. It also gives you a chance to make yourself feel more comfortable before you get some more rest.

A routine is definitely good as it trains your body. Kalms tablets might be an idea to try as well as I find them great when I'm stressed and can't relax.

Focussing on something happy might help too, reading a book you enjoy can help just before bed.

I think a teddy bear is a great idea, I used to cuddle one when I split up with my ex and it really helped. Maybe put something of your boyfriend which smells of him or just reminds you of him on it.

[Eve]

Just seen an ad on telly about those baby sleep products like bedtime bath and such with lavender in.

Might be worth a try, I love baby products :)

[Mamyalynne]

clydeserani so sorry to hear you are in a sad phase, nights can loom large at this time and when my husband died , I sneaked a teddy or two into bed and one even plays a lullaby simple and silly maybe but it helps during a bad night.
Lots of love as you get through this.

Mamya ♥

[ruthann58]

i am sorry to hear of your loss i woke up crying in my sleep a lot after my mum died it did stop in time it is your bodys why of greiving ,it comes in so many different ways but you will get through it, i have found it never stops hurting, you just get used to it and learn to live with it , talking helps as does crying there are lots of good people on here who will be here for you xxx