father seeing his kids after child abuse

emma3443 | 13:11 Tue 05th May 2009 | Family & Relationships

29 Answers

Hello all
I need some advise
I have two daughter's age 7 and 5 . I am now divorced from the father and the kids live with me.
Their father used to see the girls at the weekends. Until one weekend the 7-year-old stated saying she did not want to go I told her she had 2 as he was their father. Weekend after she refused point blank kicking and screaming. so asked my ex husband to come round and talk to her she refused and so did the 5 year old
He took out on me and beat me up (he has been found guilty of ABH)
From that day august last year he has not seen the kids but he is fighting me for contact.
Cafcass was involved and a few weeks before the kids was to be interviewed they come out with my ex had been touching them�.called the police kids was interviewed etc but CPS would not run with it as the kids was to young to be put on the stand!

Now child servers are involved because Cafcass won't touch this case�.

I have just got the kids counseling which they start Monday..
My ex is still fighting me for the kids the kids have told child services they never want to see him again they have told the school the same .
But the father is trying to say he never hit me! And I'm tuning them against him which is not true

So child services are doing a report for the courts now.
Has anybody been though this and what will the likely out come?

I'm worrying myself sick about this because I'm so scared so judge will say they have to go to see him even if its supervised and I know the girls don't want that

His solicitor is so confidant he will get to see the girls he wont even give them there stuff back.
I have a solicitor and he says that he has no chance but is he just saying that because he is getting paid a fortune from me for this matter
If he wins I feel like I have let my girls down once again all I want is to make them happy.

Am I just too traditional?

distant cousins?

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annie0000

I have seriously thought about it - but getting too old now :o(.

My job does involve a lot of digging around, investigating and looking at details and remembering things, so I guess I am probably in the right area anyway.

Nosha123

Oh Emma.. stop being so melodramatic - you sound like my sister. They have not bullied you.. they have clearly pointed out other identical posts on here by other user names that have exactly the same details... It sounds odd - you have to agree... it is a HUGE coincidence if you are genuine!!!

The story's are the same!!!!

They are not bullies..

annie0000

I have specifically said that either way, you need help and support - I am not quite sure how this makes me a bully, safe to say that I am not greeting in my soup!

sue34

anne0000!
dont take my name in vain.

i nothing to do about this never met the woman or spoke to her ,if its me she is talking about?

emma3443

Question Author

YOU ARE bullies as the other poster is not me!!!!!!!!!!!

whifffey

So how come your post is identical?

emma3443

Question Author

IT'S NOT ME i have read the other post and yes it sounds like what im going through but its not me.

might be my ex or his sick g/friend i dont no!

this is really upseting me thinking someone is going around saying things like this or asking question about my life with out me knowing becaus... i dont HAVE A LOT ON MY PLATE AT THE MOMENT ...DO I!!!!!!!!!

zarasumo

Hi Emma,

Just be careful what you say to the courts/childwelfare etc. I have been through something similar although it didn't involve child abuse and everything went in his favour. I live in Scotland and the laws are different in England but I had someone from the Children's Reporter come out and see me about overnight contact my girls' dad wanted and they wanted to know about our past and even though I had police reports for violence against me and in front of my kids, getting beat up while 7 months pregnant cause he was trying to make me miscarry and I ended up in hospital, I have a police report about him holding a rifle to our 3 week old baby's head and threatening to shoot her, they believed him and made me out to look bitter and jealous against him. You have to be really devious and an absolute cow towards him cause if you try to be diplomatic an any way for your kids he won't and I feel that the men always win cause if they can be bothered to take you to court then it means that they care - what a load of rubbish!!!! Maybe you should try moving and not telling anyone where you are going to, I know it is crap and why should you but just be careful about the courts cause it is then totally out of your hands and a total stranger who has never met your kids can then decide what is best for them when it is your job to protect them - Sorry for the rubbish answer but I feel totally let down by the legal system and think that everybody should be warned that total strangers who know nothing about the situation and are only told certain things are deciding about your babys' future and you are left helpless. Please just be careful with lawyers as long as they get paid who cares, it is not their family