Age of Consent - too high, too low, just right?

[Ethel]

The Coronation Street story line has got me thinking about this. (For those who don't watch a major character's father fathered a child 30 years ago with his daughter's 14 year old best friend).

The thought of children being sexually active is appalling and emotive and I really think children in the UK are sexualised at far too young an age - many 7 year olds are conscious of their body, their image and the opposite sex.
On the other hand, many young adults seem to be treated as children far too long - have no real responsibility for themselves or others until well in to their 20s.

Some young adults seem very mature physically and emotionally and this is recognised in some other countries. The age of consent in Spain, for example, is 13 (not long ago it was 12); Austria and Germany is 14; Denmark and France is 15.

Personally I would like it to be 24 but this is a bit unrealistic. What do others think, especially parents.

[Ethel]

You're right there, clarion - no law will stop them.

But having the legal age of consent does give young people a reason not to go through with 'the act' if they are being pressured in to it by their boy/girlfriend. Maybe.

And very often people aren't prosecuted for having under age sex, or having sex with an under age child because it is not in the public interest, especially if the young person concerned is 14/15.
If the age were lowered to 14, would we gradually get to the position where there were very few prosecutions if the young person was 12/13?

I really don't know what the answer is. I do know children can get contraception without their parents knowing - is that a good thing?
It would be easy for me to say this isn't my problem as I have no children in that sort of age group, but I really do think this is society's problem.

[Razzle09]

Maybe Ethel it's a case of considering exactly what conscent is being given for. I am a parent of two children, a son aged 24 and a daughter 23. I have absolutely no problem with them having a sexual relationship with their partners but I would be horrified if they decided that they wanted to be parents. I don't consider either of them mature enough to take on the responsibility of parenting. And while it is great that kids can indulge themselves who takes responsibility for the unwanted or neglected kids that are placed with social services every day!

[Ethel]

That's another problem altogether, razzle.

These days sex need not mean babies and I'm quite frankly amazed that so often it does, with the wide range of contraceptives available, the morning after pill and abortion.

[keyplus90]

I personally believe that it�s not the consent only of the person in question; it should really be the consent and guidance throughout from the parents. When parents start thinking that their responsibility was only to give their children birth and get them to the age, 13, 14 or 15 whatever and that�s all. Now they are old enough to behave like grown ups can have sex if they like and in the morning do not remember who it was. So problem is not about sex, it is about commitment. Not so long ago people used to give birth at even younger age and there was no outcry either. But then it was not only about sex, it was about commitment, marriage and spending life together. That just does not exist any more. Now we talk about teenage pregnancies where I believe the difference is mainly how you got pregnant and how much responsibility the two of you plus your families are willing to take.

[sophie_1003]

I think one of the problems with 'young people' and sex (I put the inverted commas because I'm still young myself) is that sex and love are seen as two separate things. This may well be the fault of the media but it is parents responsiblility to teach children about loving relationships. This doesn't just involve the talk about the birds and the bees but also being a good role model and demonstrating how a loving relationship works, e.g. giving hugs and talking to one another. Obviously for single parents this is more difficult but they can still demonstrate respect for others and this would hopefully lead to children understanding how healthy relationships work and therefore being able to identify when they themselves are in a healthy relationship.

[dot.haukes]

I don't know whether the sex education in schools is going to work to stop teenage sexual activity and pregnancies, but having been in a conversation at work this week with mums who have primary school age children taking these new sex education lessons, trust me, nothing is taboo and the children are asked what slang names they have heard for the various bits and what words they use to describe the sex acts, they are shown a film of couples having sex and all this is to a mixed class, and so the education is there and nothing is heald back, much anyway, it is then down to the individual child to take responsibility for how they digest and handle the information, that is where I am lost as to how the education system can monitor the response,. If the child has all this visual and verbal information and goes home with it, what is to say their parents don't tell them to shut up about it and not mention it in the home? That's what I don't get, the parents did not get that sort of lesson at school and they could be the greatest barrier to the success of this curriculum content.

[Ethel]

I agree entirely Sophie that love and sex are now two different things for some people, with sex being seen as a recreational activity that any two passing strangers can do to pass the time.
Strong family bonds are essential to the good mental health and well being of a child (and us all) and that is too often lacking.

dot, I know what you are saying, and I don't know the answer. A few years ago I watched a late night documentary about this 11 year old boy. It was the most appalling thing I have ever seen. Not only did his mum buy him cigarettes (to stop him stealing them apparently) he also watched hard core porn. He had tried to have a certain type of sex with a very young girl because he said girls 'were gagging for it up their (fill in the blank space, dot)' because that's how they were on these films. He came out of his bedroom and his mum said 'Been watching those films again, w*nk**?' and she thought it was a big joke.
He had also been interfering with little boys. All while he was under the age of criminal responsibility.
This is an extreme case of very bad parenting, but how many children have tvs, dvds and sky in their bedrooms?

[Whickerman]

There's no doubt that the extreme ease that hardcore porn can be accessed these days has an effect on the mentality of kids - a recent series on Ch4 showed this.
As to age of consent - it's 17 here in Ireland and despite knowing everything when i was 17 (!) and having my first encounter before that age, I think that's too low.

Frankly, I think it should be 18, and a minimum 21 for parenting.
I see that it's quite obvious that where parents have instilled strong values of respecting yourself and your body the end result is a more responsible young person.

[Ethel]

Yes, whickerman. lack of self respect is a big factor.

[DEN53]

If the age of consent was 13, 18 21 or older - it makes no difference - there will always be individuals who will do exactly what they want, when they want and age does'nt come into it.

I think children grow up too quick nowdays - but saying that - we all played 'mummys & daddys' when younger, mimicking grownups - the only difference nowdays is they don't play at it but do it for real !!!!!!!!!!!!!

[McMouse]

If you're big enough you're old enough. My hormones kicked in when I was really young and I had my first penetrative sex when 13. I'm now an OAP,,,,,,,,,,,,wish I was 13 again.

[jake-the-peg]

I'm not exactly sure what problem is being solved by age of consent legislation.

Is it to protect minors from manipulative older people? In which case the law should also specify how much older etc.

Is it to stop the spread of STDs? Do older people not do this?

Is it to stop unwanted teenage pregnancies? Is this the best way to do this? really? to make sex a crime?

Or is it really because of the continuation of a view about youth promiscuity and an older generation imposing a view of how younger people should behave.

Seems that often these "crimes" are not reported or complained of by the "victim" as much as the parents.

I'm not necessarilly advocating a change but I think we should be a lot clearer about what the problem is that we are attempting to address and who the victim of the crime is.

I'd be interested to know Ethel why you think children being sexualised earlier is a bad thing - is it because it goes against a particular image that you have about what childhood should be? And where did you get that image from.

I'm sure when wea all slept together in long houses 1,000 years ago nobody thought like that.

[New Judge]

Quite, jake, but, as you�re always telling us, things change and society has moved on a little in the last thousand years.

Children are generally not able to make reasoned decisions about many things. For example, whether or not they should smoke, or drink, or drive or have sex. Yes, they are all different and mature at different times in their lives (and some, especially men, perhaps never do so at all). Generally their parents ensure they behave in a way that does not jeopardise them or others around them. However, some parents do not.

The consequences of them undertaking these activities are many and various. Who would like to see, for example, twelve year olds bombing up the High Street in powerful cars (which some parents would undoubtedly allow if it were legal)?

And so it is with sex. The unwelcome consequences of sex at a young age are well documented. (If you believe there are no such problems then you need read no further). The children need protection from these consequences as not every parent will provide it. The law therefore steps in to make some effort to ensure that the protection is provided in the same way as it makes it illegal for twelve year olds to drive. In neither of these examples does the law guarantee protection for the children and others who may be affected by their actions, but it does help provided children are taught what is and is not permissible. The general shortcoming of such an arrangement is that the law is not rigorously applied, and is often ignored, making youngsters believe that the law actually countenances their actions.

In summary, the problem which the law seeks to address is (like many others that impose an age limit on certain activities) is that children are often not capable of thinking through the consequences of their actions. Their parents cannot always be relied upon to do so for them, so the law tries to help to do so.

[drumfromasta]

guys and gals!
i live in memphis, Tn, usa. the age of legal consent of sex is 18, for alcohol its 21, but rumors r going around that;ll it'll b lowered to 18 also, and drugs are illegal so no age but obama might legalize weed....so it'll prolly b 18 or 21.

n england and other euro. contrys r yall really doin it at 14?
thats weird jus sayin