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help very tired mum
8 Answers
i am 25 and have a 15 month old who is very active, i went back to work just after christmas this year.
ever since i went back i have become more and more tired and more and more disorganized at home.
it has actually got to the point where i feel like i am just walking around in a daze all day, i cant seem to wake up early any more, infact i cant seem to wake up at all anymore. even when i am up my mind still feels all fuzzy and i cant seem raise the get up and go i always used to have, which is starting to become some what depressing.
i love my little boy and my partner very much but i know that my mind state is starting to affect them.
please help any suggestion welcome!
ever since i went back i have become more and more tired and more and more disorganized at home.
it has actually got to the point where i feel like i am just walking around in a daze all day, i cant seem to wake up early any more, infact i cant seem to wake up at all anymore. even when i am up my mind still feels all fuzzy and i cant seem raise the get up and go i always used to have, which is starting to become some what depressing.
i love my little boy and my partner very much but i know that my mind state is starting to affect them.
please help any suggestion welcome!
Answers
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Are you working full time or part time?
Get yourself in bed by 10, try and keep on top of things at home, even if you dont feel like it, push yourself to get back on top....and then after you are more organised, just do little jobs that you need to do to keep on top of it all.....even when you really are not in the mood.....and enlist some help from your hubby!!!
Sometimes ive been like how you are, and I have a night where I go to bed about 8 and sleep all night, and im like a different person the next day...maybe give that a try???
Get yourself in bed by 10, try and keep on top of things at home, even if you dont feel like it, push yourself to get back on top....and then after you are more organised, just do little jobs that you need to do to keep on top of it all.....even when you really are not in the mood.....and enlist some help from your hubby!!!
Sometimes ive been like how you are, and I have a night where I go to bed about 8 and sleep all night, and im like a different person the next day...maybe give that a try???
Is your partner helping, make sure that he realises this is his child too and that an equal share of household tasks and baby care should be on his shoulders.
Two other pieces of advise I was given when I went to the doctors with much the same complaint when my daughter was small. 1) does it really matter if the house isn't spotless, it's more important to spend time with the baby (is there any chance you could afford a cleaner just a couple of hours a week) and 2) no baby ever died from crying. That was the best one, as I spent half my time walking around comforting the baby, even though she was fed, bathed, changed and I could find nothing wrong just that she had me wrapped around her little finger.
Most importantly though I think you should get your partner on board, possibly work out some sort of rota for cleaning like you would for kids/pocketmoney and try to stick to it, a little every day from two people should keep on top of things.
Two other pieces of advise I was given when I went to the doctors with much the same complaint when my daughter was small. 1) does it really matter if the house isn't spotless, it's more important to spend time with the baby (is there any chance you could afford a cleaner just a couple of hours a week) and 2) no baby ever died from crying. That was the best one, as I spent half my time walking around comforting the baby, even though she was fed, bathed, changed and I could find nothing wrong just that she had me wrapped around her little finger.
Most importantly though I think you should get your partner on board, possibly work out some sort of rota for cleaning like you would for kids/pocketmoney and try to stick to it, a little every day from two people should keep on top of things.
Redcrx is right. Do the absolute minimum at home. I don't know your work situation, but do as little as you can there as well. If you can manage financially by going part time, then do that, but if you can't then make sure you aren't taking on anything above the absolute minimum.
You mustn'y underestimate how much this is costing you physically, so make sure you eat well and get plenty of sleep (ha ha with a small un). I could only do what you are doing now, by not caring a bit about the houseworky stuff. In fact i found Christmas present s I had wrapped up and not given (babe born at Christmas) - and my hub's lost wallet - down the side of a chest of drawers when I eventually got round to cleaning up. If child is fed and clean-ish, and you can turn up to work with matching shoes, you are coping superbly.
You mustn'y underestimate how much this is costing you physically, so make sure you eat well and get plenty of sleep (ha ha with a small un). I could only do what you are doing now, by not caring a bit about the houseworky stuff. In fact i found Christmas present s I had wrapped up and not given (babe born at Christmas) - and my hub's lost wallet - down the side of a chest of drawers when I eventually got round to cleaning up. If child is fed and clean-ish, and you can turn up to work with matching shoes, you are coping superbly.
It sounds like you may be depressed.
I'd go to the doctors and have a word. Nobody wants to take pills long term, but there may be something they can do to help to make you feel better and more like coping. Also, it sounds as though you need a break from your child. What about your mother/mother in law or other members of the family. Can they babysit to give you a bit of time to yourself. Even an evening at the cinema is a break and time for you to relax a bit.
Hope you feel better soon.
I'd go to the doctors and have a word. Nobody wants to take pills long term, but there may be something they can do to help to make you feel better and more like coping. Also, it sounds as though you need a break from your child. What about your mother/mother in law or other members of the family. Can they babysit to give you a bit of time to yourself. Even an evening at the cinema is a break and time for you to relax a bit.
Hope you feel better soon.
CBT is extremley good at retaining your thought to feel more postively about your self and life. You dont need pills-you need a proper routine and someone whom you can talk to professionally each week to help you organise your life, your own feelings and make you feel better, more postive and optimistic and able to do things-i had this-i was suicidal and i must admit its helped immensly. Without CBT i dont know where i wld be now-your doctor should be able to refer you. Your symptoms-the lack of motovation, dizziness and tiredness are all classic symptoms of depression-also dont rule out post natal depression either-you havent done anything wrong and your not a failure, you just need to speak to someone who can help you feel more posistive about things. Think how much you have achieved-a lovely boy, a nice good loving home, your worth so much and have achieved alot!
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