just found out im pregnant

[green0187]

My boyfriend and I just recently got back together after a month of being seperated. We have been fighting because he saw a friend (who is a girl) and her best friend/ room mate at his bar and they asked him to come to California to visit and he said yes without even asking me to go. Obviously I was not comfortable with the situation because I dont even know these girls and i find it very rude and disrespectful of him to go. And also he has been talking to the roomate (who happens to be a very pretty girl ) quite often. Then to top it off....I find out im pregnant 3 days ago. I don't want him to go but he says it's unfare for me to keep him from an oppurtunity like this and he has already bought the ticket. I would like an outside opinion on how i should handle this situation....from both men and women.

[gossipgirl]

hi green, how long is he going to be away for if he goes to california? if its a short trip as in a 2 week holiday then i would say let him go and as he has bought the ticket already it would be a shame to waste it. However if it a 6 month trip etc then i feel it would be selfish of him to go especially with a baby on the way. Your going to need alot of support.
What makes you feel uncomfortable about him going? do you trust him to remain faithful? if not then i would would suggest that re-evaluate wether you want to be in the relationship or not as if you dont trust him then him being away will eat up at you, and of course you-r hormones are goiing to be all over the place which will make you feel ten times more paranoid.

[SizzleSquid]

put this on the normal body and soul and you'll get more answers. I also think your boyf is being disrespectful here. I understand that he is going to visit friends but you cant rule out ulterior motives on either his or one of the girls behalf-im sorry, all you politically correct ppl, but i would question why A-hes going all the way to the USA to stay with two women-one whom he's quite friendly with, B he hasnt asked you to come-if he has nothing to hide and its all platonic then why cant you go? and C-biggest of all, you've just found out that you're pregnant.a nd you need all the support you can get right now-its an emotional time and he shouldnt be swanning off on some glamourous holiday with two women whilst your at home having just found out your pregnant.
What does he mean an opportunity like this? what opportunity? if its such an opportunity then why cant you go? ID feel very uncomfortable with my man going on holiday with two girls-especially that you dont even know them and no one has bothered to introduce themselves to you. If he really cant get out of it then id insist on meeting these girls before he goes-its the least he can do to put your mind at ease-if they are truly platonic mates then he wouldnt have a problem with this-and im sure they'd like to meet you too-especially as hes told you who they are and not lied and said they're boys. If he has a problem with this though or says no-id be dubious as to why he;s so eager to go. All sorts of things happen on holiday. Do you trust him?

[lil75]

Personally, I think he is wrong, you split and got back together because of these women, and despite the fact that you are pregnant he still wants to participate in a holiday with them...I would not be happy and knowing me I would give him an ulitimatum...good luck

[sandmaster]

I agree with lil75. He is being very unfair to you.

[zoidberg256]

its a very sticky situation to be in. But like gossipgirl said, if its a short term trip let him go. And if its not, its still a good way of showing him that you trust him to be loyal. Believe it or not, men and women can be just friends.

[paraffin]

Hi green:

If he bought his ticket without telling you before he did it, and you only found out afterwards: Bin him! He's using you!

If you both live together and it's your place: Bin him! He's using you!

If he's refusing to let you go as well: Bin him! He's probably cheating on you!

If you have any doubts about his fidelity: Bin him! I assume you're quite young. Make the wrong decision and you'll live to regret it for a long time to come.

Your only "mistake" would appear to be getting pregnant(unless of course it was planned?) Even if it wasn't, you have a massive decision to make regarding whether or not you will go ahead and have the child. Even if you do, which hopefully you will, your b/f will be no use to you if he's prepared to fly off to the other side of the world leaving you to literally hold the baby!

If you have any close family nearby, get and speak to them and seek their advice. It's at times like this when families are most needed.

Not every relationship works out for the best, but there's plenty more fish in the sea. Best of luck.

[hanrushton]

hi hun

forgett about him for the moment you need to think long and hard about the pregnancy and what you are going to do. i suggest talking to a female member of your family who you are close to and also to you doctor.

as for your boyfriend he should try and understand how you are feeling i dont think he would like it very much if the shoe was on the other foot, however your emotions and hormones run a mock when you are pregnant which may be somethin you have to explain to him.

perhaps maybe there are some trust issues as well here although his behaviour is fueling your fire.

i would tell him how you feel and leave the disission in his hands, then maybe you have a disission of your own to make as to whether he is worth it and whether you trust him enough to carry on the relationship.

remember there is plenty more fish in the sea just waitin to treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

good luck babe

[gbradfield]

why would he want to go the other side of the world with 2 women when hes found out that his girlfriend is having his baby is what id be asking? i kind of agree with gossipgirl in saying that if its ashort term holiday that has already been paid for, to let him go as it would be a waste of money, but why cant he offer to take you too? afterall it will probably one of the last chance you have to go away together before the baby comes. If he is planning a long term holiday then HES the one being selfish and im sorry to say but if that is what he is intending to do then in a sense he is abandoning you and the baby! you are going to need alot of support and hes going to be off sunning himself having the time of his life with 2 girls. How do you feel about the pregnancy? you need to think long and hard about what you want to do. good luck