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Hi,
im rreally worried about my friend, she used to be belemic and to be honsest i think she still might be, she denys it but im not so sure, i've tried speaking to her, but i can't get through to her, she can't even look in the mirror, she just crys, shes skinny but thinks shes huge, she sometimes dosent eat anything for days,
can anyone help?
Can anyone tell me whats wrong with her ?
Thank you x
im rreally worried about my friend, she used to be belemic and to be honsest i think she still might be, she denys it but im not so sure, i've tried speaking to her, but i can't get through to her, she can't even look in the mirror, she just crys, shes skinny but thinks shes huge, she sometimes dosent eat anything for days,
can anyone help?
Can anyone tell me whats wrong with her ?
Thank you x
Answers
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If she is still in her teens she is probably creating the problems herself and you are best ignoreing her, she may be doing it for attention. You can't be with her 24/7, she may be eating normally at home. Did her GP diagnose her bulimia the last time?
not sure if there isn't a help line actually but look at this:
http://www.parentsconnect.com/articles/Dealing _with_Bulimia.jhtml
not sure if there isn't a help line actually but look at this:
http://www.parentsconnect.com/articles/Dealing _with_Bulimia.jhtml
Sorry but can't agree with what dot.haukes said, if she really isn't eating for days and is very skinny then she is not doing it for attention, she is suffering from anorexia or bulimia which are both mental illnesses, not attention seeking behaviour.
If you are really worried about it but still can't get through to her then try talking to someone else.
Are her parents still around? I know it might feel like you're betraying her to go behind her back but you'd be doing her a favour.
And a bit of advice for yourself, don't let this get to you. I suffered from depression a few years back and at the time one of my friends was dealing with anorexia, it had a huge impact on my own well being because I worried about her so much so try not to let it get to you too musch. Obviously you'll be worried about her but don't let it affect your own well being.
If you are really worried about it but still can't get through to her then try talking to someone else.
Are her parents still around? I know it might feel like you're betraying her to go behind her back but you'd be doing her a favour.
And a bit of advice for yourself, don't let this get to you. I suffered from depression a few years back and at the time one of my friends was dealing with anorexia, it had a huge impact on my own well being because I worried about her so much so try not to let it get to you too musch. Obviously you'll be worried about her but don't let it affect your own well being.
Thanks guys you've really helped, i dont think she is attention seeking, she's 13, and she does have parents but she REALLY does not get along with them ! I know you say dont get to involved but shes my best friend i hate seeing her like this i feel helpless, i want to help her !
Im so worried ! she has problems at home so she cant really talk to her parents !
???
Im so worried ! she has problems at home so she cant really talk to her parents !
???
Of course I understand is she's your best friend you'll want to get involved but what I mean is just make sure you're not damaging your own well being through it. I know it is such a difficult thing to deal with because you always feel like you're treading on egg shells but your friend needs help.
I understand if you think your friend can't talk to her parents, since she's 13 i take it your friend is still at school?
Does she have any teachers she can talk to? A guidance teacher, school nurse, any adult she can trust?
Try not to feel so helpless, even by just being there for your friend you are doing something to help her, by the sounds of it you are doing more than anyone else to help her so recognise that you are helping even by just being there.
When you next talk to your friend about this, try not to put a name on it, like don't ask if she is bulimic/anorexic. Instead just as her if she's ok. Explain that you're worried about her and then just ask if she wants to talk about it. If she says no, leave it a couple of days then try approaching it sensitvely again.
Try to get her to talk to someone like a teacher or any adult she can trust, offer your support by saying that if she wants then you will go with her to see the adult she will talk to.
Don't feel hurt if she says she doesn't want you there because one of the things my friend explained to me when she was suffering from anoerxia was that she felt ashamed of herself and one of her biggest fears was everyone knowing how she felt.
Let us know how everything goes.
I understand if you think your friend can't talk to her parents, since she's 13 i take it your friend is still at school?
Does she have any teachers she can talk to? A guidance teacher, school nurse, any adult she can trust?
Try not to feel so helpless, even by just being there for your friend you are doing something to help her, by the sounds of it you are doing more than anyone else to help her so recognise that you are helping even by just being there.
When you next talk to your friend about this, try not to put a name on it, like don't ask if she is bulimic/anorexic. Instead just as her if she's ok. Explain that you're worried about her and then just ask if she wants to talk about it. If she says no, leave it a couple of days then try approaching it sensitvely again.
Try to get her to talk to someone like a teacher or any adult she can trust, offer your support by saying that if she wants then you will go with her to see the adult she will talk to.
Don't feel hurt if she says she doesn't want you there because one of the things my friend explained to me when she was suffering from anoerxia was that she felt ashamed of herself and one of her biggest fears was everyone knowing how she felt.
Let us know how everything goes.
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