seperated from husband he won't give me any money..

[dee43]

my husand & i have been seperated now for 8 monthswe have 2 children aged 9&11 whom live with myself. all he pays is the morgage he is self employed has his own businesses i work 17hrs a week so i do get tax credits i have all the bills, food, clothing the children school meals bus fares to pay .. what i need to know is how much maintenance should he be paying i don't really feel like at the moment going through the courts i know i will have to eventually hes committed adultery for 11yrs of our 13yr marriage also has child with her

[Brinjal]

How absolutely awful for you I feel for you. What a rotten sod. I think you should settle this now even if it means going to court. You dont want to have to be phoning him all the toime and getting into arguments. You are the one whowill suffer with all that you need to take time to get yourself back on track so let the courts deal with all the nastiness that is tocome.

[guysach]

he pays your morgage...to me he pays his way..he only has to pay for the kids and if you went to CSA with him being self employed and another family you could loose out.

and as for doing him for adultery you cant it has been more that six months since the deed was done and you have been seperated for 8 months so no chance.

and if you divorce can you pay for the house becaue he wont have 2 pay and can make you sell it unless he gets a charge on the house put you will have to pay the morgae

your kids are 9,11 you need to get a full time job now and start looking after yourself sorry its so blunt but you needed to know

[padanarm]

Poor soul, I don't know how you've managed so far.

The current child maintenance guidance from CSA for 2 children is 20% of his net weekly income. This may be reduced slightly if he has other children living with him that he needs to support.

If you're struggling for money you really have to go to a solicitor to get maintenance. Remember maintenance is about keeping a roof over the family's head and putting food on the table.

You won't have to go to court - this is simply about maintenance not divorce or blame. Be strong.

[daffy654]

Surely if he is paying the mortgage on the house you live in then he is paying quite a lot?
He obviously also has to pay rent/mortgage on where he lives and has to support himself and his new partner and child.Where are you expecting this extra money to come from exactly?

[gossipgirl]

i hope this doesnt sound blunt but at least hes keeping a roof over your heads by paying the mortgage, in a way this can be classed as paying maintenance. Your in a better position than alot of other people, alot of absent parents dont bother to pay a penny.

[mrrand]

Go to a solicitor and start divorce proceedings. Not sure why you are waiting?

Have you actually asked him for more money?

Isn't there some law that after your children reach a certain age you should be able to go to work full time.

I'm not entirely sure that all the comments posted on here are 100% correct. If the house you live in is the matrimonal home I am sure you would be entitled to a fair share of it as well as maintenence for your children.

I know someone who was in a similar situation and has recently been awarded enough cash to buy a house - from the sale of the home - as well as receiving maintenance.

[daffy654]

mrrand,nobody said she isn't entitled to a share of the matrimonial home.It seems she is still living in said home with the children while the ex is paying all of the mortgage.If the house were to be sold she would get her fair share of any proceeds assuming it was dealt with properly.Any maintenance for the children would then be a completely separate issue.Expecting the ex to pay the whole mortgage while she lives rent free and to also give her cash for the children is a bit much really!

[sara3]

as daffy has suggested, it's not what the money is intended for, it's how much he pays. the mortgage could be �1000 pcm...

perhaps you could ask for the cash, rather than him paying off the mortgage, but then you'll have to budget for all things. I'm not suggesting he shouldn't pay more, but we don't know what his contribution already is.

I do feel for you though, best of luck. I trust you've looked into Working Tax Credits, free school meals and bus fares, Council Tax Benefits etc...

[Nosha123]

I dont know that you will get much more out of him - though obviously we are all assuming here your mortgage is more than �300 per month!
If he is paying say �800 a month or more already - what more would you get via a court I dont know - but they would take into consideration his other child and home which he also has to provide for.
ALthough your marriage has ended painfully and you have been cheated on in an awful way - you may be worse off if CSA or court were involved and have to sell your home if its too expensive.
Speak to the Citizens Advice Bureau (if u r in UK) for some free advice.
I know a man who is self emplyed and pays �400 month for his two teenage girls. CSA would ask him to pay �25 LESS per month so he is already deemed to be 'overpaying' for their upkeep. Tread carefully!

[lorla]

I'd be sitting pretty if someone else was paying my mortgage and I only worked part-time!

[coz-bob]

my parents have been divorced for about 10 years, and my sister and I have always lived with my mum.

my dad has payed nothing in regards to maintenence, my mum has on many occassions contacted the CSA but they are pretty useless!

at least your ex is paying the mortgage, if you are on speaking terms, talk to him about contributing to clothing etc. But from experience, if you go through the CSA you may end up in a worse situation.

[boro1986]

He pays the mortgage!!!! Go for maintenance but i would not expect him to keep paying the mortgage

[luckyforme71]

my ex is self employed i get �5 per week for 1 of my daughter's and get 15% of my other daughters father via CSA but i'm don't always get that it may not be worth it. Like most people i have to juggle with the money that i have coming to pay bills mortgage etc and i work 30 hrs