getting over partner leaving me for someone else.

[imajenarry]

how do you get over being cheated on/left for someone else. me and fiance had been together just under 5 years and have a 3 yr old son together.i don't know for sure if there was anything sexual going on but i know my ex was spending a lot of time with another girl without me knowing and i now know that it had been going on since december if not before. :0( The thing is he moved out with the opening line "just to put your mind at rest there isn't someone else but i need to sort out how i feel about us" that was nearly 2 months ago now. i have worked out for myself that he had an interest in this girl and have confronted him about it a week after he left but he said and is still saying that there is nothing going on between them-they just meet up for a drink occasionally. (he's prob saying that in case he gets spotted with her anywhere) but i suspect he is actually seeing her and has been since he left if not before.i've been finding this all very hard and seem to spend most of the day and night thinking about it-how it's happened,why it's happened and wondering bout incidents in the past-trying to piece things together because i feel i need to work things out to get some closure.any ideas how i can do this without the answers i need from my ex. i think he's too much of a coward to come clean about the whole thing even tho he's moved out and ended things. we do still have to see each other because he comes to see our 3 yr old son. i've given him openings to come clean but he hasn't taken them.

[albaqwerty]

agree with coccinelle about the house, but would suggest smaller steps..eg a new bed, sofa, plates, pots and pans, just small steps that make these material things your own.

I know material things won't mend your broken heart (and that of your sons)

take care x

[blackietwo]

He is lying. you have to be strong to leave someone and its hard unless you have someone to lean on. after 24 years of marriage we would row like most couples. but i suspected my husband was seeing someone and he said i was paronoid. eventually he caused a row about nothing!!! and walked out. 3 days later he sent me a TXT (coward) said he met someone else on the friday night. 48 hours after he left after 24 years of marraige. he is a liar. my x husband did not do things on a whim he had thought about it, i know him. well eventually we divorced. i got over the anger which it mainly was and the humiliation. moved on to a lonley period in my life. then met someone else. im now very happy and believe things happen or a reason. be strong

[imajenarry]

thankyou all for your answers. a comment about being treated how you would want to be treated made me really think about how i would NEVER have done this to my partner and he's shown no respect to me at all and so doesn't deserve me agonising over things like this. i also now think that he actually thinks he loves this girl and it has probably been going on for some time that's why he can't admit anything to me because he knows how sh!t he's been so i suppose that's all the answers i need. he has said that we can have a talk about everything tomorrow evening after he's seen our little boy and gone to bed but i think i'm going to say there's no point .(as he's only going to give me more of the same lies :o( )