friend has had sex with a minor - what should i do?

[pollypower]

My friend has had sex with a minor, he was about 30 and she was 15. They had a secret relationship that lasted about 6 months. Although this happened about 2 years ago, it has just come to light. The circle of people that know - including the girl's parents - are trying to cover it up and keep it quiet.
I don't know what my obligation is here, the girl came to me and told me she doesn't want anything to happen to the guy, she said she loves him and wasn't pressured into sleeping with him. She is scared and upset people will find out.
The guy was fully aware of her age - he is also friends with her older brothers.
Trouble is, this is still illegal, plus he is also training to be a youth worker. If this 'gets out' I fear the implications for him could be far-reaching.
What do I do?

[Davethedog]

If he knew - He cannot work with young people can he?

[pollypower]

although he is a friend and I think I know him well, ultimately I am forced to wonder how well you can ever know someone - if he did anything in the future with another young person I would feel terrible that I could have prevented it by speaking out now.

[pink-kittens]

There is really only one option, isn't there?

Why are the girls family trying to 'cover it up'? What benefit can it have for them? Their daughter is the one whjo has been wringed here, not your friend. I see something a bit more going on here. How come the brothers are not beating him to a pulp? (not that i condone violence). I do not understand the families attitude at all

However, saying that, if he is working towards youth work where he will meet vulnerbale kids, then there is some responsibilty here for you to report him somewhere. Where, I do not know, but such a serious allegation would be acted upon

ATEOTD, you know what you should and must do

GL

[pink-kittens]

And yes, as you say in your other thread - if he is 'innocent' *cough* and this has been leaked (such stories are never leaked by accident) then he also has only one option.

[pollypower]

thank you pink kittens

does anyone know who I should report him to? do I go to the police?

[hammerman]

Personally....i'd keep well out of it. It's down to the family to sort out. If you go to the police, you really don't know what you'll be stirring up.

That would be my humble opinion on the situation however, if the bloke has a serious problem with young girls, their safety may be at stake in his future job.

[pink-kittens]

you could try your family info services at yr local council, they may well know who to report him to and you can enquire in confidence and annonymously as well
If you get nowehre there, then your local police station should be able to help you

GL

hammerman, its all well and good staying out of it, but if this were your daughter having contact with a man such as this, would you feel quite the same? No, didn't think so

[lyndylou]

you should tell - you would never forgive your self if he turned out to be a serial offender - what about the children he may work with - get it off your chest - then no one can blame you if things go wrong when or if others don't listen
it must be awful to have a secret like that - remember you have to live in this world with your head held high
good luck !

[lyndylou]

yes go straight to the family leiason officer at social services - they may be able to keep you out of the impending S***t and fan hitting but be prepared they can't promise X

[NoK]

report him , there is no way this NONCE should work with young people.

[Grvyklown8sl]

Im sorry but your friend ,LEGENDNONCEGINGERBONCE needs to be back in prison.......

[Ice.Maiden]

Tell someone - but how do you know that this girl is telling the truth? The whole thing could be denied if it came to light., or may not be quite as you've heard.

Even so, this man mustn't be allowed to work with children if he committed an offence.

The girl isn't to blame. She was young and vulnerable at the time, and to err on the safe side, I'd contact the police who have liaison offers trained in this sort of thing.

What puzzles me is why the girl's parents've kept quiet over such an assumed crime? A more normal reaction would've been to want to see this man dealt with by the normal methods.

[pollypower]

thank you for all your advice everyone - it's been really helpful

[keithlbw]

Polly you only have one option ,,,,,, think about the other girls he may abuse , the chances are he will go for younger girls ( if he hasn't already) ...tell what you know to someone in authority , you could give Childline a call http://www.childline.org.uk/Pages/default.aspx

If you do do nothing and he abuses others you will never forgive yourself.

[oldmaggie]

Keep out of it. If the parents dont make a complaint the police may investigate at your instigation but you will have to bear any consequences. i.e. the atitude of the parents to you, possible investigation of you by the police. What evidence other than hearsay do you have?