Poor Tom
Upon reaching 65, old Tom decided to retire.
After having him under foot for a few months, his wife became very agitated with him. She suggested he go and do something to occupy himself, like join a club or get a hobby.
Old Tom obliged and went out for a couple of hours.
When he got home his wife asked about his day and he replied, "Oh, I just went down to the corner bar and hung out with the guys. Oh yeah, I joined a parachute club also."
"What? Are you nuts? You're 65 years old and you're going to start parachuting?"
"Yeah, look. I even got a membership card."
"Old man, you need glasses! This is a membership in a PROSTITUTE CLUB!"
"Oh, great! Now what am I going to do? I signed up for 5 jumps a week."