does he care continued.....

[baggysenior]

in response to my earlier question i posted yesterday does he care? i want to say a genuine thankyou', i listened to your advice and turned on my phone and there were no texts. so I guess he never really loved me in the first place. What i'm struggling to make sense of is he sent me a text approx 2 weeks ago saying you're the 1st thing i think of in the morning and the last thing at night, i love you. His actions don't reflect that. Anyhow, i'm heartbroken and it hurts like hell but i guess everything happens for a reason?? i'm day 1 into recovering, this could make me a stronger person....i hope. x

[lil75]

Ive just read ur other thread, I think he may be testing you, to see if you love him enough to continue the relationship without a child, he is probably doing the same as you...waiting by his phone and thinking, she didnt love me enough! You have to remember, you were the one that ended it, not him....you really need to think about what you want

[baggysenior]

thanks lil75, i have thought that, we are both stubborn. The only thing that makes me have doubts about that theory is he always said he would fight for me. Anyhow, i do love him, i'd like to believe that when he said he didnt know if he loved me he was over tired and angry, so if he really does love me shouldn't it be up to him to make the 1st move or am i completely wrong? if im honest, i need to live with the hope of having more children and he can't provide that, letting go of someone you love is incredibly hard. My head is a mess. I'm a shadow of my former self.

[sara3]

from what I've seen here you have 2 very young children, and you need to concentrate on them and yourself for now. you've not long separated from your husband, and now you've separated from a boyfriend you say you loved (but you never said that to him?).

it's all very confusing. if the boyfriend didn't want children and made that clear from the outset, it really was never to be.

bringing more babies into the world isn't the answer to any problems for you. be yourself for a while and don't rush headlong into another "serious" relationship.

[lil75]

What you have to ask yourself is, how long can someone keep fighting for you before they start to get tired of it. He may feel he is in a losing battle, as he can never give you what you want....unless, he goes for a reversal, is that not an option?

Relationships are hard, and require a lot of work, can you both drop the stubborn part (as its gettin you knowhere) just causing you misery, and work togeter to find a solution to all this, you obviously love eachother, a shame to throw it away!

[baggysenior]

i've got one daughter from my ex husband (who walked out on me when she was just 4 months) so i've been separated nearly 2 years i have been with my boyfriend for approx 7months. I thought i could live in love with my partner and push back my maternal urge. Deep down now i recognise we would never have worked, i just hope he doesn't hate me. Also just recently i was made aware that he smokes cannabis regularly, so maybe that effects the way he feels for me too?. Perhaps you are right and it was too soon to embark on another relationship. I have low self esteem and i guess i fall in love with any guy that pursues me. He knew i loved him. Thanks guys for your welcome advice.

[cazzz1975]

maybe he feels stressed and under pressure because he knows you want children and he cannot do anything about it because he has had a vasectomy, reversals almost never work.

maybe he feels used? maybe he feels you only want him as a sperm doner?

[caththecrazy]

If you really want another child then I dont think this relationship will work. I guess you had to find that out though.

They say love conquers all but in reality it doesn't not without help from other elements.

Just focus on your daughter and enjoy her.