Daughter crying when going into school.

[BIG DAD]

My daughter is 4 and just started reception class at school, every morning when my wife takes her in she cry's and gets really upset, my wife has to take her in and try and persuade her to stay and stop crying, she eventually has to leave her to the teachers and turn her back on her.

This is all getting too much for my wife, we have tried talking to her to find out why she does this and even tried bribing her.

This all started in the final 2 months of the last school year, when she was in nursery and we havn't been able to get to the bottom of it.

She is at a different school now.

Has anyone had any experiance of this or any suggestions on how to solve this problem.

[zzxxee]

is there a friend who lives nearby who you could ask over to tea and maybe you and the other parents could take it in turns to take the kids to school?
she may enjoy feeling like a big girl walking with a friend?

[Alliegid]

Poor you, - had a similar thing with my youngest who used to really hate going to school. Eventually turned out that he was dyslexic and that school didn't recognise this (I am going back a bit here) It was just terrible taking him him (basically dragging him in the door). In the end I found a fantastic school for him, that understood that not everybody is the same, and that different children have differing strengths & weaknesses. I decided to move him after his teacher told me to make his homelife less "lovely" so the contrast between school & home wouldn't be so much!!!

I've also worked as a classroom assistant & teacher and know that for some children the goodbye moment is traumatic, but that they soon settle down when the parents have gone. Some parents drag it out forever ... Give a cuddle, an assurance that you will be back at home time and just go. Hard though it is. This is obviously when you have satisfied yourself that there is no specific reason for the upset.

Best of luck :o)

[BIG DAD]

Unfortunally both my wife and daughter are new to the school and dont yet know any of the other parents, there is none of her old classmates at the school either. Maybe that will be an option in time, Thanks for your advice.

[sara3]

have a word with the teacher and find out how quickly she settles. I'll bet your wife could sneak back and see her settled within 15 minutes.

I know it's awful when they cry. my son did this at nursery but when I peeked through the window, he was fine.

[zzxxee]

if it doesnt settle down and if your wife has any free time schools always need parents to help out from time to time she could volenteer once a week say to see how your daughter is getting on

[Alliegid]

I started off listening to the kids read (just to get my foot in the door!) this led to being a c/a (best qualified one that horrible school had ever had!) Trouble was I could see that he was just a sad litle boy at school. - Happy teenager now :o)

[andy-hughes]

Alegid's advice is sound - but it is a terrible feeling, leaving your little one behind.

Fortunately, our eldest two were past that stage when my wife and I met, and our youngest went to Nursery and then Primary at the school where my wife was a teacher, so she knew Mum was just across the yard.

It is a fact that most children settle quickly once Mum or dad go, and the adults spend the day fretting while the kids have a great time. Do ask your child's teacher id there is any underlying problem going on, and make sure you make a big fuss of your daughter when she comes out of school - lots of 'big girl' praise, and maybe a little treat in a Friday - tea out with a friend perhaps, to keep her inclined to go.

Good luck!

[SHOP-A-LOT]

I have two girls & look after two little boys and at some point both my girls have tried the same thing with me. I know its hard but as soon as your gone it stops.

One of the boys I look after only started School last week and every day I have been taking him & I haven't had any problems. But today he mum took him and he started crying and kicking etc. I think its just something they know that gets to you and usually everything is fine until they have to go in they notice one child doing it so they start.

I picked the little boy up today (as he only goes half day until next week )& he had a great day!!