I am desperatley waiting

[Bobbisox]

for one of me mates to send me s funny joke...ffs
LOL
Then I will be vindicated and we will have a giggle, rotfl

[craft1948]

don't push it boobi......unless it's about a white, middle class, heterosexual person you're in trouble.....

[Bobbisox]

shurrrupppp craft
thats a hoot in itself...pmsl

[steg]

here Bobbi
Steve is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one for a great price, but it's missing a seal, so whenever it rains he has to smear vaseline over the spot where the seal should be.
Anyway, his girlfriend is having him over for dinner to meet her parents. He drives his new bike to her house, where she is outside waiting for him.
"No matter what happens at dinner tonight, don't say a word." She tells him, "Our family had a fight a while ago about doing dishes. We haven't done any since, but the first person to speak at dinner has to do them."
Steve sits down for dinner and it is just how she described it. Dishes are piled up to the ceiling in the kitchen, and nobody is saying a word. So Steve decides to have a little fun. He grabs his girlfriend, throws her on the table and has sex with her in front of her parents.
His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word. A few minutes later he grabs her mom, throws her on the table and does a repeat performance. Now his girlfriend is furious, her dad is boiling, and her mother is a little happier.
But still there is complete silence at the table. All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Steve remembers his motorcycle. He jumps up and grabs his jar of vaseline.
Upon witnessing this, his girlfriend's father backs away from the table and screams, "OKAY, ENOUGH ALREADY, I'LL DO THE FECKING DISHES"

[redman41]

Why are Hurricanes named after Women ?
When they arrive they are Wet and Wild, but when they go they take your House and Car !! Boom Boom !!

[Ankou]

jokes are (unless intentionally visual in context) better when heard rather than read.

don't get me wrong, i'm not diagonally parked in a parallel universe, but i'd never be caught dead with a necrophiliac.

[Bobbisox]

brilliant stuff,,,lol

[zzxxee]

a penguin walks into a bar and says to the barmaid
"have you seen my brother"
"not sure" says the barmaid
"what does he look like?"

love that joke lol

[craft1948]

Ankou.........I love you

[tonyav]

At 7am man comes home bleary eyed, ruffled hair and lipstick on his collar....his wife shouts there had better be good reason for you waltzing in here at 7 oclockin the morning,
f@cking right there is he replies...........Breakfast !!!!!

[Ankou]

well i have found that is often the common effect of alcohol.
you must have had at least 10 pints to feel that way about me.

[Seadragon]

A Woman with tiny tits goes into M & S and asks for a bra, size 32AAAA. They don't do anything that small. She goes into La Senza and asks for the same. They don't do that size either. After several stores and the same answer, she storms into Debehams, marches upto the lingerie section, pulls her top off and yells - 'Do you have anything for these?' The assistant asks 'Have you tried clearasil?'

[craft1948]

I bet the assistant was dot........very funny