he has to have his own way

[sacha.86]

my boyfriend of 3 years (who i have got a little boy to) is so stubborn. He expects every fri night out to himself. So ive said meet me in the midle and prove you can go this 1 weekend without drinking. So hes gone out and said he will be home at 11. It doesnt look like he is going to be home and he has been drinking what should i do to gain back some control? Males responce much appreciated

[sacha.86]

your right. I think that came out on auto pilot because he is not the best of role modles and doest have our sons best intrests at heart

[ummmm]

Does he work? Do you work?

[sacha.86]

i dont work i get dla due to ill health. He worked up untill a couple of weeks ago. He got layed off to no fault of his own

[ummmm]

So up to a couple of weeks ago he was working all week and you begrudge him a few beers at the end of it?

[sacha.86]

no this has only started happening as of yesterday we used to always go out together on a fri but since hes stoped workin we cant afford to so i have stopped going out. He wants every fri 2 himself from now on no questions asked even tho he hasnt a penny. Ive said thats fine but i want him to go 1 weekend with out drink to prove he doesnt rely on it and so that he is doing something for me in return. So he went out last night just to a mates n said he would b back at 11 and that he wouldnt drink. He turned up at 2 in the morning pissed tryin to kik my door off becoz i told him to go and stay the night at his brothers. Me an our little boy were ill all yesterday and half the night throwing up with a stomach bug and the last thing i need is him cuming in drunk disturbing us

[ummmm]

Why was he kicking the door? Did you lock him out?

[sacha.86]

i wouldnt come down to let him in. His brother only lives round the corner i couldnt b arsed with the hastle of him cumin in drunk especially while our little boy was in our bed poorly. He would have disturbed him and i could put him back in his cot because he'd bin sik in it. He was out on tue night for a drink and came home moody throwing up everywear. Its not that i dont let him go out but he trys 2 dictate everything 2 me all the time and wont let me have any say in anything. To b honest i dont no if im going to let him bk. He told me his finding it difficult with no money or job but instead of looking for mor work he is just puttin all his effort in running away from it all

[Sqad]

Your BF is a loser........he will never change.

Accept this or dump him.

[ummmm]

It's only been 2 weeks so give him a chance.

Maybe you need to get a bit of a backbone. Decide what you want to do and don't let him change your plans. Some people are just like that. I'd be happy for my partner to make all the decisions....

[sacha.86]

im going to let him stay at his brothers for a couple of weeks if not for any thing else just so i can have a break. Its hard wen i suffer with deppresion and skitsophrenia he noes what buttons to press and how to get around me and how to make me feel guilty until i let him do what he wants. Your right i need to get a backbone but its hard wen ur vunerable. Im going to use this time to get my head together and decide what i want to do

[Androcles]

As I said a couple of days ago, I think you really need to think about where this is going. What will it be like if it is still the same in six months, a year, two years time? From what you say, it looks like Sqad is right he ain't going to change so cut your losses now.

[sacha.86]

well it looks like its gona b for the best ive not seen or spoke to him 4 2 days an even tho im bored im suprisingly feeling quite good. His mum informs me that all hes been doing is squeezing mor pub time in so hes obviously expecting to come back. Hes got a shock cuming. If he was really that bothered he wud b proving to me hes sorting his life out