Had it. Lost it

[myron21]

I have a friend and she says she has noticed how attitudes towards her have changed as she has got older and put on weight i.e.  strangers are not half as nice and eager to please as they used to be.  (I should point out that the woman in question was amazingly attractive in her younger days).  Has anybody else had similar experiences?  What a shallow world we live in.

[Hermia]

My aunt was very beautiful when young and has definitely found that attitudes towards her have changed. I've been slim all my life until a couple of years ago when my thyroid packed up. It took doctors a while to diagnose it and get my medication right so I ended up putting on lots of weight (thankfully I've now lost almost all of it). It was a huge shock to me. I didn't like being fat, but my concerns were more for my health than my looks so I don't think I took less care of my appearance or was less confident. But the change in people's attitude towards me was very strange. Fortunately I didn't get any verbal abuse (I've got big friends who have had this happen to them), I just sort of became invisible. I noticed that when I went into shops or restaurants male waiters or assistants didn't go out of their way quite as much even though I was as friendly as usual. I also noticed that some female shop assistants treated me differently. I also started a new job at the time and I noticed the men treated me like a mate rather than a woman. It was a strange, although educational, experience.

[Loosehead]

That's how it always is the most of us, who do not fit the stereotypical "Beauty" parameters. Welcome her to the real world.

[jaggers]

The reverse has happened to me! I recently lost some weight and noticed how much nicer everyone was towards me! Including a few "friends", which contrasted nicelyt to the true ones who treated me exactly the same.

[Morrisonker]

I think it's a matter of how you present yourself.  If you're a big lass with plently of personality and sparkle it doens't matter.  I've seen my mum both slim and (ahem) curvy and she's always been bubbley and slightly flirty with folk in resturants.  She's lost about 3 stone in the last few years and is being treated exactly the same. 

If you're overweight and are angry about it, get annoyed by seeing skinny folk everywhere and let your weight affect your personality, then of course people will treat you differently. 

[woofgang]

actually morrisonker, that's not true. I am big, not angry, not aggressive and some people treat you like an alien or worse, as if you are slightly thick. my family and friends do not and never have.

[jean88]

I always been slim due to illness I have put weight on and every time I see a friend or relative all they comment on is about my weight, they dont even give me no sympathy regarding my illness, like they are glad ( like jealous of what you look like before). Thats how shallow people are.

I think people dont realise that we all going to age and loose our looks. Thats life, its the first impression thing.

[Dom Tuk]

Is it really surprising that beautiful people get treated differently. It has been like that since time immemorial. Most of us men know that and accept it as a fact of life. Also ladies, when a man is especially friendly, he is not doing it because he is a nice person, its just plain fact that he fancies a bit. Accept it and life will not shock you as much.

[MargeB]

You are less likely to be convicted of any offence in the UK if you are better looking.

Unfortunately, if you are convicted, better looking people get harsher sentences.

Strange but true.

[eupraxia]

It's always outer beauty that counts at the end of the day. I'm big and my hubby loves me no matter how I look. Thats what matters to me not what everyone else thinks. Theres some beautiful people out there and I don't mean Minogue beautiful.

Shes a beautiful girl inside to.

[angel1978]

Definitely!

I suffered with eating problems for years and, although I couldn't see it at the time, was tiny compared to how I am now.  Also suffered a lot with kidney problems and even pnuemonia and such because of it.  Was also a vegan (excuse mechanism) through the worst part so when I did eat it wasn't much.

I suffered a lot getting out of it and ended up intolerant to so many things for a while afterwards such as gluten and lactose.

Once I got my system back to eating a normal diet I just ballooned and used to binge quite a bit which didn't help.  I'm also very faddy and will eat the same thing over and over for months at a time which doesn't help either.  I try to diet and exercise but it can trigger the old feelings and goes obsessional and exreme and i have to stop and hang back to keep my self OK.

It makes me sad the different way people react to me.  Sometimes I feel more comfortable as I don't get pestered and harassed as much and know that if someone chats me up etc... it's maybe more genuine and they're more interested in me. 

It does hurt though that many men seemed more interested in the damaged, vulnerable version of me (or maybe just the slimmer more attractive on the outside version) than the happier more confident version I am today but i then think that they're not the best people to have round me anyway.

It's really made me more aware of the people who are more genuine and who really count.