Mild mannered son geting bullied.

[flobadob]

My son is 5 and has been to school since september. The thing is he is getting bullied by another child who he would have encountered before school but not regularly.
For one example when he first went to school he made a friend but after a few days the bully took the friend off him.
The problem is that because my son is so mild mannered he won't stick up for himself. If I say tell the bully to go away my son reckons that's bad manners.
It's quite heartbreaking as the the other day he referred to an incident were he was told by the bully that he wasn't allowed to play their game and my son said to me "my brain was telling me I have no one to play with"
All he wants is to have fun and it's hard to know how to deal with it.
I'm planning on having a meeting with his teacher over the coming days but I doubt that it will help as I feel bullying is a hard to deal with subject and teachers are oblivious to it.
So what can I do about this situation? What advice is relevant to give to my son?

[radiogaga]

sorry for your sons predicament, try these suggestions, maybe one will help....
firstly explain to your son the difference between right and wrong, describe the way the bully's behaviour is wrong to your boy.
tell your son manners have nothing to do with sticking up for youself, remind him he is a very well mannered boy. but this is importaint as he wants his friend back, and he has to learn not to let people take what they want.
suggest your son shouts right in the bullys face as an alternative to violence, but hopefully it wont get to that.
best of luck at the meeting. radio

[flobadob]

I'm so worried that he is going to get depressed at an early age. He said the other day that he wants to kill the bully. He's 5 its scary

[ummmm]

At 5 the teachers should be very interested. My daughter was bullied briefly at that age and her teacher sat and watched her until she caught the bully in action.

Demand the same....

[chinadog]

Have that meeting with the teacher or the head. Tell them the bullying is making your son edgy. If they do nothing make an appt with the EA. Thats what we did when our daughter was being bullied. She ended up needing counselling so the sooner you act the better flobadob.

[BeatySwalls]

I was very much like this at school but I did happen to have an older brother to help me out. In all honesty it sounds like the type of boy your son is he doesnt know what to say in the heat of the moment and the more he will be thinking about it now the more of a big deal it will be to him and either snap and go crazy on the bully or just dissapppear into the back ground and avoid comming into contact with the bully. I reccomend that you do some role playing with your son where you are the bully. Do this in all the different possible scinarioes you can think of over and over again. Then your boy will feel more confident on these situations,,,

[radiogaga]

another suggestion, hows about grabbing the bull by the horns and meeting with this boy in the playground, have your son with you, go down to the bullys level and look him right in the eye and let him know you know about his behaviour.

[ELVIS68]

As radiogaga says but with the bullys parent there as well

[sara3]

can you invite some other kids over to play? it's important that your son has lots of friends rather than depending on one or two. bullies aside, kids are fickle creatures and one day you're mates, the next you're not. it's best he feels he can move between friends/groups.

the school need to keep an eye on the situation, but you could encourage him to widen his circle of friends.

best of luck, I feel for you both x

[pinkfluffo]

God i absolutely hate bullies!
Where is the mother of this bully??? Why is she letting her child bully someone???
Can you not have a word with the mother/father as this is totally unexeptable and they need to know whats going on also to stop the child bullying someone else in the future!
I would be so upset and angry if someone was bullying my child and i would want to make the parents aware as they need to take responsibility and discipline their child.
Sorry ive gone off the answer you want but i really think parents need to know how their child is behaving because its not right and have no idea what hell they can cause to a child/family.

[radiogaga]

bullies usually have some need not being met at home, so the mother/ parent may be as bad.
also it may be a learned behaviour from home. (the bullying.)

[lil123]

It's hard at any age to be bullied but that young is terrible.
I think the school needs to be dealing with it and it's great you can talk with your son and he is able to tell you how he feels.
When I was bullied at school I just kept it to myself as my mum just wouldn't listen to me.
It's not acceptable x

[joannie10]

dont have any experience in this but I just thought might be worth you noting things down. anything your son tells you about, what meetings you have with the school - dates and times etc - just incase you need to refer to them in future of give examples of what your son has been telling you.

good luck - it is such a shame, children of that age should not have a care in the world

[jonah hart]

This is heartbreaking ... 5 years old an being bullied is so unfair .. My son was bullied at this age too I went to the school only to be told ( we don't tolerate bullying) I said well obviously you do because it's happening... We,ll sort it they said.. 3 days later it was still happening so back to the school I went and everyday after that for 3 weeks untill the bullying finally stopped.. Teachers don't listern to kids so we have to b there voice .. Speak to the school if nothing changes u go back everyday untill it stops... Grrrrrrrrr I hate bullying so bad.. Poor kid shouldn't have to go through this at 5 years old.. Really good luck ..

[flobadob]

Went to the school and we're going to see what happens over the coming few days. The teacher seemed to take an interest but I suppose she can't see everything and if said bully is sneaky enough it may lead to further talks.
We don't want to get parents directly involved yet until absolutely necessary and with any luck it can be resolved through the teacher and child involved. For now it's fingers crossed but it's affecting the whole family so we'll see.
Thanks to everyone for their thoughts.

[Dragons101]

I would stick with just talking to his teacher or if the doesnt work talk to the kids parents or even the kid!

[wildeagle]

The squeaky wheel gets the grease. SCREAM! MAKE NOISE! Especially if severe emotional or physical harm is being inflicted upon your child, I'd advise any loving parent to Barge into the principal's office and let them know you won't tolerate this, and if they don't discipline that rotten bully or kick him out of school for this cruelty you'll sue the pants off the school district for failure to provide a secure learning environment. or you'll get the mass media involved. when I was in school I was timid and shy, even too shy to complain to the principal. I wish I'd had the guts to make more of a scene about the bullying, but back then it was always blamed on the poor victim. Bullying is a hate crime! Pray pray pray! Day and night storm the gates of heaven and plead the blood of Jesus on your precious family. Satan is behind every evil bully who ever walked the face of the earth. It's his business to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10). Media URL: http://waronbullying.tripod.com
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