HELP PLEEEAAASE!!!! whats the norm etiquette for parents to meet prospective in-laws

[fretter]

Hi, im in a bit of a dilema!!! my partner and i are due to get married next saturday but my parents have never met my fiances mother and father, we have tried to sort a couple of meetings recently but my mum works in a hospital and her hours of work verge on the ridiculous so this has caused problems, we were set for a meet the parents weekend last week but my prospective mother-in-law had flu and we had to cancel.
My mum and dad phoned me last night and to say that they wasnt impressed is putiing it mildly, we had a blazing row!!! my mother said that it was a farce and that i couldnt expect her to turn up at the reception and sit with my future in-laws and pretend that everything is ok, she also asked if i was ashamed of her and my dad and was that the reason they hadnt met!!
I realise that maybe this should have been sorted out by myself earlier, but my partner and i have been under huge amounts of stress sorting our wedding out and we really havent had a minute to ourselves, i couldnt keep asking the in-laws to drop their plans just because my mum had a free night to meet!!
My partners parents dont seem to mind that they have never met my mum and dad and have never put any pressure on us to arrange for them to either.

Could i have some honest opinions from people please..... is it my fault? or are my parents being a bit too stressed out???

[horselady]

I hadn't met my daughter-in-law's parents before the wedding. We met her Mum and Dad for the first time on the day and had a brilliant time, I think your Mum is over reacting a bit.

[dothawkes31]

How did you manage to get a wedding sorted out without your fiance meeting at least your dad to ask hom for your hand in marriage? If you have taken so much organisation and planning seriously, how come this quite traditional and important form of respect was overlooked? Or did he just text him?

[jno]

Basically, it's your day; if anyone, parents or otherwise, wants to throw a hissy fit, they are not obliged to attend.

There is one question, of course: they aren't paying for this, are they? If so, it would certainly have been polite for you to arrange a meeting long ago.

[wiggal]

I kind of thought that parents of couples met eachother at some point during the relationship normally?!
Maybe I am just lucky then really! My other halfs mum and my mum and stepdad all met a couple of years into our relationship and often see eachother! We all went to Spain for a holiday together last year, and thinking about it - my mum and stepdad are coming to his mums for Christmas day! :-) Luckily they all get on fantastically!

However in your case, I would definitely say your parents are being unfair! After all, it is your big day - Why is it so important that they have met?!