Confused In Lust? In Love?

[luxury]

Hi,
I live with my boyfriend, have done for 6 yrs. It has been a hard slog keeping it going and many times I have been in tears because of the way he has been with me. (drugs and drink) hes improving cos I've threatened to leave so many times!, but that is not what I'm writing about but may help people understand why I'm in this dilemma?
I am and always have been in love/lust with his friend. Nothing has ever happened but recently his friend and I have been in contact via facebook... just playing scrabble lol but sometimes the chat is almost 'not innocent'?
His friend, when he came to visit a long long time ago.... when it came to saying goodbye? I gave him a hug... but it was like a magnet. I didnt want to let go and neither did he but we did.
Years have passed... his friends getting married and I'm supposed to marry my boyfriend.

The problem is? I want to see him! I want to ask for him to come visit for a coffee (public space) but really???? I want to... well... if I said I was on my knees? because I want him so badly... but I know its wrong! WRONG!

So... he's in my system... I want him out of my system!

Any guys out there been in the same predicament with a mates girlfriend? and what did u do when she asked to see you?

Ladies? I'm unhappy.. but again... I cant be arsed to start again.

Thank You for Reading :)

[Ankou]

sound like this mate is ready to move on if he is gettingmarried. if you are unhappy with your relatiosnhip then do something about that rather than go for something that appears to be juicy and exciting. it won't be. all men will flirt on line and play the game in some hope that a bit of crumpet might offer it on a plate with no strings. sometimes it works, sometimes it don't.

just sort out your own relationship, and if this mate doe get married, leave them be.

[sacha.86]

yep fink the same as ankou. He just seems like the better option n thats the top and bottom of it. Get him out of your head. If u want 2 move on, u need time on your own to think about what u really want out of a realationship. Jumping straight from 1 to the other is only going 2 leave u back where u started

[jno]

sounds like he's made his decision, and you're going to have to accept it.. As to you and your boyfriend, though, that's something you CAN do something about. Doesn't sound as though you're ready for that at all and may never be. You should probably be giving this some thought. (The fact that you're unsure is perhaps what's triggered your feelings about his friend.)

[lil123]

Life is too short to be with someone you are not happy with. I tried to stay in a violent and unhappy marriage for many years as I was too scared to be on my own etc.
Now 3 years later after spending time on my own, I am with a lovely man who makes me feel happy and I am so glad I had the guts to leave when I did.

[karenmac60]

I was in this exact situation years ago. I never told him how I felt and I went on to marry my bf. The marriage fell apart and I lost contact with the friend - but years later we met up and he told me he'd been in love with me the whole time. By this time I was married to someone else and very happy - but I have to admit, I sometimes wonder what would've happened if I'd just told him how I felt all those years ago instead of sticking with the safe option...

[laura_x]

hey, if i'm being totally honest, the first thing you need to do is get rid of what sounds to be the worse boyfriend/fiance ever.. i was with mine for 3 years it broke my heart but it wasn't right.

anyway, this other guy.. everyone will tel you not to go for it but youve felt so strongly for him for such a long time and i'm guessing your feeling a bit like, if i dont go for it am i going to regret it for the rest of my life which i think you will. Also i think if you meet up with him an a public place you might realise you dont want him (which you probably will) but i think you shoud nevertheless. Just to see him to quench your thirst if you get me?

if you want to talk anymore i'm here :) http://www.facebook.c...iltcliffe?ref=profile

[laura_x]

hey, i honestly think the first thing you should do is get rid of the boyfriend/fiance because your not happy with him and by sounds of it i dont blame you!

anyway,i think i'm going to be the only person to say this but i think you should go for it... and ask him to coffee even if it is just to .. quench your thirst? if you get me. I just don't think its worth you thinking ''what if'' for the rest of your life.. if you want to talk more i am here :) http://www.facebook.c...iltcliffe?ref=profile

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