this is a bad world

[fordhardtop]

my wife died 4 years a go her dad ask me if he can help pay 4 her funeral at the time i didn t no the law and at the time i could not think what was goin 2 happen next 14 years i was 15 when i met jodi i lost evry thing my wife ashies and a lot more evry one keeps saying get over it.iv try ed evry thing its my right but the law .law im ready 2 go 2 jail over this 4 a long time iv try evry thing the law is bull Sugar and im not goin 2 go throw this again 7/1 is my last day and i need help 2 stop this or i will make them all pay 4 what the law said is right i know what is right and im gessin no one can help and no one can stop me

[saxy_jag]

Whilst I'm guessing you're pretty upset over this (and who wouldn't be), it's difficult to know exactly what you're asking here. Are you saying that your father in law gave you no say in your wife's funeral arrangements and that the law can't help you?

And you're saying this is your last day? Before what? Jail, or are you contemplating something more permanent or damaging? Perhaps it would help you to chat to someone at the Samaritans. You don't have to be suicidal and they may be able to refer you to more specific sources of help and counselling. Their number is 08457 90 90 90.

[ummmm]

Reading his other posts it sounds like he's planning on killing a few people...

[beso]

I ask that just for a day you contemplate what Jodi would be thinking of the things you propose to do. Are you so alienated from the beauty of the love you have with her that you would entirely discard her memory and indugle in such retruibution? I ask myself if a person capable of such atrocity could have ever really known love.

Jodi is not a pot of ashes nor her belongings. The real Jodi lives in the hearts of those who know her and love her. Cannot you accept the great fortune to have had Jodi at all rather than what is lost and cannot be recovered? Hate will not bring you satisfaction but more anguish and you shall die a miserable death.

You have not successfully negotiated the grief for the loss of your wife. You need to urgently seek the assistance of a counsellor. See you GP and they will be able to refer you. In the meantime chill out and take a deep breath or ten. Release yourself from the anguish and refocus your attention to the good in the world.

Most of all remember Jodi and ask youself honestly if this is what she would want done in her honour. You can choose a new reality right this minute.

[beso]

I was able to read the meaning of the original post quite easily. The poster is clearly quite distressed.

[wolf63]

I have great difficulty in working out the genuine posts from the wind-up posts on this site. This 'seems' genuine.

I am unsure about your post - I am not at all sure what has happened to you but you but you are obviously distressed.

If you can't cope (and there is NO shame in that) go to your doctor. I am sure that he/she will be able to give you some sort of help - either anti-depressants (don't knock them - they won't make the hurt go away but will help you cope with it) or he will refer you for some sort of talk therapy to sort out the thoughts racing around your mind.

From what I can grasp you owe money - if it is to the funeral director tell them the truth. Speak to the CAB - they are excellent at helping people. Owing money is stressful (I once had huge debts) but it is not the end of the world - nobody has been hurt.

Beso and saxy_jag have each given you some excellent advice. I hope that things work out for you.

Susan

[beso]

Interpreted:

My wife died 4 years ago. Her dad asked me if he can help pay for her funeral. At the time I didn't know the law and at the time I could not think what was goin to happen during the next 14 years (I was 15 when I met Jodi). I lost everything, my wife ashes and a lot more [to her parents because they helped pay for the funeral].

Everyone keeps saying get over it. I'v tried everything. It's my right but the law [is not on my side]. I'm ready to go to jail over this for a long time. I've tried everything, The law is bull sh1t and I'm not going to go through this again. {He has already tried to get back what he believes is his right.}

January seventh is my last day and I need help to stop this or I will make them all pay for what the law said is right. I know what is right and I'm gessing no one can help and no one can stop me.

----------------

He is planning retribution probably against Jodi's parents and the those who applied the law. The date for the action is January 7th which is probably a significant date such as the anniversary of the day Jodi died.

It is not particularly unusual for desperate people to write something online warning of their action. How would you feel on January 7 if he goes through with it? Even if he might not do it we should not dismiss the way he feels. His post is a desperate cry for help.

[wolf63]

I have suffered from depression all my adult life and have hit rock bottom a few times - but when you do bottom out and feel full of despair and negativity everything that think becomes distorted. It is hard to believe that things can get better and that you will enjoy your life again.

This time of year will be especially hard on you - I hate Christmas - but you really should take the first step and visit your doctor. You love Jodi and you were together for a long time - she must have loved you very much too. As beso says Jodi will always be alive in your memories and in the things around you - photographs of her and things in the house. Don't bottle up your feelings.

I really hope that you come back to the site and read what we have written. Some people who give advice are professionals and their advice is crucial. But some, like me, have faced mental anguish and survived.

The climb back to good health will be long and painful - but you will have your life back!

Susan

[tamborine]

Are you upset because you have nothing of your late wife? You can gather soil where your wife's ashes were scattered and thereby have your treasured momento.

You and your wife were together for 14y as I read it. That's an understandably long relationship to get over. Her father lost his daughter and is grieving as you are. It is the living who grieve and have to go on for each other. You feel your grief with pain, dont you be the cause of more pain.