why???

[bobbikay]

My boyfriend used to smoke weed. It never bothered me (actually i thought it was cool) until i realized how much it affected his personality. He would ignore me and become a completely different person. I told him how i felt about it. Countless times he promised me he wouldn't do it around me and countless times he did it anyway. I don't even know how many times we broke up. It got to the point where all i could think about was marijuana and how much i hated it. Well, it's been 3 months since he has smoked it. He no longer does it even when i'm not around. I should be happy, right? I'm not. I replay all the times he let me down over and over again. It's like i'm permanently traumatized. Anything to do with weed and i get a sickening stab of pain in my stomach. I think about it all the time, and sometimes i'll get mad at my bf for no reason. What he doesn't understand is that it eats me up inside and i don't think i've completely forgiven him for all the times he hurt me. He is very sorry, and i KNOW he doesnt do it anymore. Even if i see weed in a movie, i'll feel sick to my stomach and turn it off. and it doesn't help that most of his family and friends smoke it. Why do i overthink about it so much? I'm through trying to understand why people use marijuana (or any drugs). Why can't people find different ways to be happy besides getting fried outta their faces? Why do i care so much? :S

[the arab]

grow up dude first of all. how old are you 14?

[bobbikay]

I am 18. Could you expand on "grow up" a little bit more? Ha ha because i don't understand how i am being immature in any way :S Lol

[Goodsoulette]

This is now all your problem and not his. He gave up smoking pot for you! You are hurt about something he did I presume before he met you and didn;t keep secret, you made demands on the relationship that you must have realised might not be immediately achievable and now you have got what you wanted you are still miserable.

HE gave it up for you, you should be happy about it, or break it off and move on! I wouldn't stick around with someone who penalised me for something I used to do and originally didn't have a problem with it.

[meglet]

I think the fact that your bf has given up smoking weed is a very good thing. If he manages to stick at it then even better, but he will probably need a lot of support from you if many of his friends and family still do it. The problem I can see is the future for the two of you is that if you are still mad at him for past indiscretions due to smoking marijuana then he's going to think that if you are still mad even when he's stopped then he might as well go back to it!

If you feel like you can't forgiven him then perhaps you should just call it a day now.

[bobbikay]

I didn't expect him to IMMEDIATELY quit. I let him know how i felt about it from the time i started feeling that way. At first i said "i would appreciate it if u wouldn't do it around me". He still did and i didn't say anything for a while. Then i said "DON"T do it around me". He still did. FINALLY after a few months he stopped doing it around me, but he would still tell me about the times he got stoned. So, a few weeks before our son was born, i said "I have a problem with you smoking weed and i have no right to ask you to quit, so i'm calling off our relationship". And then he realized that he was going to be a dad soon and he needed to be responsible, so he quit. And i love him so much for it. I know i'm the one with the problem. I tend to overthink things to the extent where its all i can think about. My question is why do i feel this way still?

[cazzz1975]

If you went into news and said that you thought weed affects your personality you would be lynched

[meglet]

Reading what you have said about having a child with him I think you are worried for your's and your son's future with him, and understandably so. He's been unreliable in the past so you fear that he will let you down in the future, and now the stakes are far higher as you have a son to consider. Try and put that part of you that worries about whether or not he will go back to smoking weed to the back of your mind and give him a chance. BUT if he lets you down again, be strong and get rid. This may be his second, third, fourth of fiftieth chance now but it is his last one. If he goes back to it you don't need someone like that as a partner.

[sophie_1003]

over thinking things is the worst thing you can do, I'm very bad for it and always assume the worst will happen in any situation I'm slightly worried about. You just have to be firm with yourself and as soon as you realise that you're thinking about it stop yourself, focus on something else, anything to take your mind off it, if possible sleep, I always find I have a more positive outlook if I've had a sleep!

[mandimoo]

i used to feel like this about my boyfriends exes.... but not a plant! he stopped, you cant punish him for what he MIGHT do. as someone says earlier, you gotta give him this chance. ....what do they say?... "let me down once, more fool you, let me down twice... more fool me".

[HumaneBeing]

stupid question