Biting my tongue

[Tock389]

Asked out a girl who works for a company we work with. She said she was busy on the dates I suggested. I left it ten days and asked again (by e-mail)- she never replied. By chance about a week later, I picked up a colleague's phone - it was the same girl ringing with a work query- she sounded really sheepish.

Yesterday, the girl rang me up about work, and acted as if nothing had happened. I was professional and sorted out the thing she needed doing, but just felt dismayed she acts as if I never asked her for a date..

How do I cope with being blanked? Want to still be professional but feel a bit hurt. Any tips?

[blueeyedlass]

i think to be brutally honest that the girl just isnt interested in you so maybe by her acting as if nothing has happened she is trying to avoid any akwardness between you. i really think you should just try move on from this girl and i wouldnt ask her out again if i was you. good luck

[shaz-rla]

Tock, she is probably very embarrassed and doesn't really know what to say/do. Though it may really hurt you it might be best if you just leave it and try and remain professional.

[Andy008]

No matter how attractive she is, the phrase "Never dip your pen in the company ink" springs to mind.

Luckily, my last office job was in the outbound call-centre of Natwest. I never had the temptation, let alone the motivation.

[Scarlett]

Sorry Tock, she doesn't fancy you. Simple as that. She said she was busy because she doesn't want to go out with you. You know instantly if you fancy a girl or not- and she will know instantly if she fancies you. Don't take it personally, just forget it and move onto the next date!

[kazzee69]

Ahhh poor Tock. To be honest she is probably feeling totally embarrased about blanking you and she just doesn't know how to deal with the situation. She probably doesn't want to hurt you but at the same time she doesn't realise she is hurting you more by not being honest. You can either approach her and mention that you never got a reply to the email and hope she has the nerve to tell you to your face that she isn't interested.. or completely ignore the situation and carry on being professional. Either way good luck hun.

[AllYourBase]

What about sending her an email saying something like "wasn't it a shame we couldn't get together on the dates we talked about. If you still fancy it, I think it would be great, and perhaps you could suggest an evening that suits you. If you don't, no problems, I'll speak to you when you next come through to my dept.

[andy hughes]

I'm with the majority on this one - she isn;t interessted, and is not sure how to handle the situation. The best thing is to be as professional as she is, and let it go. From my experience of knowing the fairer sex as a friend - if a woman is interested in you, she'll let you know, and if she isn;t giving you the signs .... and this lady isnt; then it's no go. Sorry.

[acw]

Poor old Tock.  And I kinda get the idea that he'd already got the hint without us rubbing it in! :-( 

I got absolutely letched on by a horrible guy who used to live in halls with me.  This happened earlier this week by the way.  He took my phone off me, called himself and then stored my number.  He even had to ask my name as he'd forgotten!!!  But he'd already shouted "you're gorgeous" at me! *cringes* He's texted me since and I have just totally ignored him.  I let him take my number because I was so embarassed that he was chatting me up SO unsubtly and very loudly in the middle of a library!!

Rather than spouting that at random (it feels better to have it off my chest), and I am CERTAINLY not suggesting you were that bad, my point is that women who are "flattered but not interested" often don't have a clue what to say!!!  We (I don't mean all women! I mean women who react in the same was as I do to these situations!) want to be polite but we're just wimps!!

Pretending nothing happened is a way of trying to spare your feelings.  Even if it doesn't have that effect! :-S

Continue to be professional and don't make a big effort to let her know when you get together with your next more gorgeous, more lovely, more successful, more rich, more intelligent girlfriend!!!! (A woman you WILL find!) :-)

[GucciGal]

acw - am lovin those last few paragraphs!

Tock389 - Try for business as usual at work, these feelings will pass I promise. Good luck xx 

[Sweet G]

Sorry Tock, in the absence of a response from you I will add my twopenn'orth. DO NOT contact her again, if she was interested she would contact you. More contact makes you seem desperate and will not make you feel better. Do as the sunflowers and turn your face to the Sun, use your energy on finding someone who is interested in you and dont dwell on this situation. I am an old hand at rejections and it can be hard until you stop taking it personally as I used to.  Stay professional because it will make you feel good about how you conduct yourself. Good luck for the next one.