Quizzes & Puzzles46 mins ago
Why does my Ex keep doing this???
13 Answers
Hey.
Would appreciate any advice.. will try to make the story short as!
Basically, My ex boyfriend of 3.5 years and I broke up a year ago, due to me going traveling and problems in the relationship, after discussion he thought it would be easiest to end it.. We were best friends, very close and done everything together.
However, ever since[a whole year has past] he won't leave me alone.. I do still care about him loads and think i will always love him to some degree, but I really want to 'move on' the thing is he won't let me... and i feel stupid to let him control me.
He calls random when i say lets not have contact and then drunk saying he ' wants to see me, loves me, i'm the only person he can talk too etc' and comes round to my house random, it is always him that initiates contact in some way giving the idea that he is interested.... But the thing is he then says he "doesn't want to get back together " I have made the mistake of sleeping with him, in the belief he wanted to make it work.
Part of me did and maybe still does, because i do still love him, and feel it was my fault the relationship turned the way it did, [i was quite controlling and possesive] but I would definately change, the breakup has made me realise a lot. . I feel regret still to this day how I was.
I think he just doesn't want me to move on.... when i had another boyfriend, he completely interfered and pretty much broke us up./..... he has another on off relationship with this girl, keeps on rubbing it my face on fbook, it's weird a weird one. But hey,
Please help, I'm so confused, i have talked to him, but still he makes no sense..
Thank you, anyone with similar experiences would be great to hear from you!!
Lucy
Would appreciate any advice.. will try to make the story short as!
Basically, My ex boyfriend of 3.5 years and I broke up a year ago, due to me going traveling and problems in the relationship, after discussion he thought it would be easiest to end it.. We were best friends, very close and done everything together.
However, ever since[a whole year has past] he won't leave me alone.. I do still care about him loads and think i will always love him to some degree, but I really want to 'move on' the thing is he won't let me... and i feel stupid to let him control me.
He calls random when i say lets not have contact and then drunk saying he ' wants to see me, loves me, i'm the only person he can talk too etc' and comes round to my house random, it is always him that initiates contact in some way giving the idea that he is interested.... But the thing is he then says he "doesn't want to get back together " I have made the mistake of sleeping with him, in the belief he wanted to make it work.
Part of me did and maybe still does, because i do still love him, and feel it was my fault the relationship turned the way it did, [i was quite controlling and possesive] but I would definately change, the breakup has made me realise a lot. . I feel regret still to this day how I was.
I think he just doesn't want me to move on.... when i had another boyfriend, he completely interfered and pretty much broke us up./..... he has another on off relationship with this girl, keeps on rubbing it my face on fbook, it's weird a weird one. But hey,
Please help, I'm so confused, i have talked to him, but still he makes no sense..
Thank you, anyone with similar experiences would be great to hear from you!!
Lucy
Answers
He doesn't want you but he doesn't want anyone else to have you and it boosts his ego to keep you dangling. Keep away from him , don't waste your time regretting what is in the past - you can't change it now and too much has happened to start again with him. There would always be resentments and throwing things in each other's faces. Avoid any contact with him at all...
16:11 Sun 24th Jan 2010
-- answer removed --
He doesn't want you but he doesn't want anyone else to have you and it boosts his ego to keep you dangling. Keep away from him , don't waste your time regretting what is in the past - you can't change it now and too much has happened to start again with him. There would always be resentments and throwing things in each other's faces. Avoid any contact with him at all and move on with your life. Part of the problem seems to be you feeling guilty and maybe letting him walk over you because of that guilt. Let it go and enjoy your life.
sorry i am going to be blunt lauren ,he doesn't want you and doesn't want anyone else to either cut your ties with him especially on facebook i did have a similar experience and stayed friends with my ex which turned bad after he went on my bebo and messed around with stuff ,we never spoke for over 6 months i do talk to him now but he knows not to phone and knows not to come to my house.we text each other now and again but that is as far as it goes
Thanks, really appreciate the advice it's so helpful to see from another persons prospective. We both need to let go...It's been over a year now! He knows every time he contacts it just confuses and hurts me, it gratifies his ego and that is why he doesn't let me go.
He has another on off gfriend, so it's unfair he keeps doing this on her as well, there was one time he pretty much tried to force me in bed when I was upset saying leave me alone you just upset me, and had to physically push him away and run.
I need to stop being weak, the guilt is a big part, i never felt he was good enough for me and treated him pretty bad, but karma has done it's magic i have payed!
None of this is worth stressing over so much, people are going through ALOT worse things out there.
Lauren x
He has another on off gfriend, so it's unfair he keeps doing this on her as well, there was one time he pretty much tried to force me in bed when I was upset saying leave me alone you just upset me, and had to physically push him away and run.
I need to stop being weak, the guilt is a big part, i never felt he was good enough for me and treated him pretty bad, but karma has done it's magic i have payed!
None of this is worth stressing over so much, people are going through ALOT worse things out there.
Lauren x
Lauren don't think of it like that ,yes other people have other things that maybe worse but this is bad enough for you to ask advice take it from someone who has been there at the time it is for you the worst thing in the world just be strong and keep your distance he will get the message make him see that you are strong (even though you may not be) if he has 1 glimpse that you are weak he will keep hurting you by staying in your life till you break
good luck x
good luck x
Sounds as if your ex-boyfriend still doesn't really know what he wants and hasn't yet got the maturity to recognise that he needs some time and space to sort his emotions out. He wants contact with you but doesn't want to commit and at your young ages, this is probably sensible. But you sound as if you're beginning to feel "stalked" by his continual contact which is not good.
I think you need to be harder with him. Tell him you want to be friends, but nothing more as his continual attention is distracting you from your university commitment. Suggest to him that your personalities are both changing as you are maturing and growing up and that you both having some personal space away from each other will help you sort your feelings out. Also, tell him that your find his drunken behaviour is becoming emotionally abusive and that if he can't control himself, you will break off your friendship altogether. Be tough. You probably need to move on, and he probably needs to grow up.
I think you need to be harder with him. Tell him you want to be friends, but nothing more as his continual attention is distracting you from your university commitment. Suggest to him that your personalities are both changing as you are maturing and growing up and that you both having some personal space away from each other will help you sort your feelings out. Also, tell him that your find his drunken behaviour is becoming emotionally abusive and that if he can't control himself, you will break off your friendship altogether. Be tough. You probably need to move on, and he probably needs to grow up.