Ex wants kids more

[Boobars]

My ex has just announced that he is taking my to court for the kids. We have been divorced and seperated for over 5 years and until I had my boyfriend move in he would just say it in a argument but when asked if he could pick up kids from school on his days he would not do so. My qusestion is.

1. He does not have a stable home 2. he is self employed and works all over the country ( So I am to Beleive) 3. He is always spliting from his girlfriend.

Will he get anywhere with it.

My children are 11 and 9 I know that they will have a say and as long as it is what they want to do and not what they think they should do then I am sure I will get use to it.

Anyone who has been in this situation any advice.

[4getmenot]

he's only announced it. I;d say he's bluffing worry about it when you get the court order. Or maybe just let him see the children and dont let it even get to court.

[Boobars]

He says a letter is coming. I will only do something if a letter comes. He see the kids when ever he wants. I beleive that its the money that the goverment give you for having children he wants as he is more concerned about nights to sleep.

[momcj]

I am going through something similar and if he wants residency he has to prove that he can provide a better home, not equal, but better than they have now. Given there age and the length of time they have been with you i personally think it would be difficult for him to justify and prove that.

[londonlover2010]

i feel for you. i cant answer ur question but just thought id show some support as im going through a battle with my ex. good luck and im sure you have nothing to worry about

[Boobars]

MOMCJ

He beleives that because of their age that the courts will go with what they want. I will not take it that far (court ) that is I don't think anyway. He has no stability in his life he has an on of girl friend an on of home and I beleive he is doing this all for the wrong reasons.

1. My Partner has moved in with me and the children.

2. He has worked out the money that he thinks that I get as he does not know how much I earn or what my partner earns and does not seen why he should not get half.

two years ago when my son was 9 my son did back his bag in an agrument that I had with him and say that he was moving in with daddy. His dad came after several phone calls from my son. Put him in his van for about half an hour and the rang the door bell and gavehim back to me saying he was unable to take him at this time.

The Children have made no comment to me when I ask them if they are happy they say they are. the only thing my youngest has said is that when daddy comes to collect her on his weekend she does not always know who's house she is going to sleep at. I have told both my children that if they want to sleep at mine on daddy's weekend's then they can and that daddy can pick them up every morning.

I just feel for my kids as they can not see the whole picture which they will do in time.

Anyone know what I can do to stop worrying????

[cherrychapstick]

Hi Boobars ,

Please don't stress about this as the courts will not take the children from you,unless there is something else that makes you think they would,why would he think he would be entitled to half your money this strikes me as very odd ,for a start your partners money is none of his business ,i am guessing he doesn't pay child support but if he thought he could get the children he is expecting you to pay him??,does he want the children so he can get a house? anyway just don't worry about anything till you get a letter saying he's taking you to court ,he already see's the children so in my opinion it won't come to that

Good luck Cherry x

[Boobars]

Vibrasphere

No My partenr is carm and trys not to get invoved my ex is a very controling man, who sent me divorce papers 3 times when we lived together before I signed one and sent it back. He does this sort of thing when he wants control. He say's that the children have stated that they want to live with him. As I said previously this has been stated by my eldest two years ago. I am not unreasonalble and he see's them really when ever he/the children want.

At the end of the day my eldest is getting old enough to state his opionon and he is not shy when he has an opinion to state. nor could I make him stay where he did not want to be. Nor would I want him to.

I understand that there are two sides to every story but until my partner came on the scene he only saw the children every 12 days once my partner came on the scene he asked to see them one day in the week. I think most deffinantly that this is to do with me moving on and he is still not in a settled life 5 years down the line.

[dunwerkin]

Hi Boobars

Look at it logically. What adult (judge) in their right mind - who is probably a parent anyway - hand over children from a loving mother who has a stable home with children at school with their own friends, to an unreliable father who, from the sound of it, doesn't have a permanent address. The children's best interests are always paramount in cases like this. As the children have said - they don't even know where they will be sleeping when their Father has them.

Your ex is winding you up. He is green with jealousy and is hitting you where it hurts most - through the children. What a louse to use his children as weapons against you. I wish you all the happiness in the world with your new man and your children.

[Boobars]

Thank for that dunwerkin,

Letter has been received and I have replied at no cost other than a stamp signed for thing long way to go but I agree and hope that you are correct. No doubt cafcas officer will get involved if it goes that far kids will be asked and they will want to spend more time with their dad like all children. just hope that they can see through more than that.