Break up

[Mowbray]

my partner of 9 years has told me that she doesn't love me anymore.  finding it hard to cope. has anyone else been in a long term relationship and been ditched? if so how did you cope?

(don't feel sorry for me as that will make me worse)

Thx

[HAnn521]

Mowbray: There was a thread posted about a break-up and how one can revive themselves afterwards in this section on the 18th...it was titled "Getting Over Someone" and I answered with some in-depth advice....because yes, I too have been in a long-term relationship that ended suddenly...

I hate to leave you hanging, but if you can find the previous post by looking through the answered questions here in B & S...see if you can find the thread called "Getting Over Someone" and read the responses that were given to that inquiry (much like your situation)...I believe they should help you, and I hope they do!!   Hang in there  ;0)

[butter1]

Mowbray, my brother went through a similar situation as you 3 months ago.  He had been with his wife for 9 years they only got married last August and he found out in May that she'd been having an affair since last November.  Although now 3 months on and he seems to be dealing with it well, met a nice young lady and has just been on a short holiday.  I know it feels as though your world is going to end at the moment....but just bare with it.  You are so used to living with someone at the moment...all the habits you used to have, have changed.  You've just got to keep yourself busy.  Join a gym, try and get an activ and busy social life, do things you never did before.  Things will get better, I know they don't seem so now but in a couple of months time you'll be seeing things in a different perspective.  Chin up, you'll get through it. x 

[nicnicnic]

I was in a relationship for 4 years that I chose to end in Jan. I know its not the same as being ditched, but it hurt anyway because I wasnt used to life without him. I lost the majority of my friends and generally was miserable. I made more effort to socialise with people from work, changed my hairstyle, had a tattoo, bought a new car, and generally changed my whole lifestyle! Although I still feel a bit lonely sometimes, as time goes on it does hurt less. How old are you? It will hurt less in time honestly, you ust have to throw yurself into something- if you've wanted to lose weight for a long time, do it now while you have the motivation! let us know how you get on!

[smouse]

In 1967 my engagment ended and my mum gave me a verse. I cant remember it exactly as you may see but it helped me and boy was it true. I have now been married to a wonderful man for 33 years. I wish I could find the exact words but am amazed that after all this time I can remember any of it.

When you come to the end of a lovely dream

And you feel your heart is broken

Things are never as bad as at first they seem

Though the bitter word was spoken

and the pain of parting was deep with sorrow

You'll forget in time it will fade away

In the sunshine of tomorrow

You'll find one day to your great surprise

Your hearts has strangely mended

You'll awake to find your in love again

When you thought that love had ended

[GucciGal]

smouse - That verse is so beautiful and so very true .....

[GucciGal]

Hello Mowbray - Just saw this and thought of you .....

Behind the curtain of bad things, good things are always hidden. 

Also, be gentle with yourself.  Take care xx

 

 

[FTVS]

My husband left me early this year. Firstly, i allowed myself time off work to really grieve, I spent two weeks pretty much crying all the time over various friends, listened to all the sad songs I could, thought of all the "there's plenty more fish in the sea" cliches I could and spent a lot of time lying in bed wondering whether I should kill myself or not. Eventually i decided that i would try and get over it, and if I couldn't i could review the suicide option at a later date. Most important thing I found was to ALWAYS have a plan for the weekend. If i don't see someone everyday (so work in the week would do) then I get really down, especially staying in saturday night is NOT an option. I started going to the gym, gave up dairy products and caffeine,  tried to eat "happy" foods and cut back hugely on drinking. I started going to counselling (which has been v helpful for me) as i just couldn't assimilate what was happening. i feel much better now but sometimes I still cry: the good news is that killing myself is utterly off the agenda. Good luck to you Mowbray.

[Mowbray]

thank you all for you're kind words and thoughts.

nicnicnic - i am 29 and she's 31 on Tuesday.  She said she needs time to think as she doesn't know what she wants.  She did say she wouldn't abandon me.

I really hurt inside.