Crosswords1 min ago
Quickest Way Out in a Divorce
5 Answers
My sister is getting divorced. Her ex was never what I call a stable person, and since her wanting to split he has become more and more irratic.
Firstly, he told her side of the family that if anyone called or emailed him that he would file for harassment charges. (Taking into consideration that no one from our family has ever called or emailed him throughout the course of their relationship... That makes little to no sense.)
Secondly, he wanted to change the 50/50 split to 60/40 in his favor because he does not have enough in savings.
Thirdly, he tried to scare my sister into agreeing to the 60/40 by threatening her with bogus adultery charges that could ruin her career in the Air Force.
Fourthly, he now is demanding to contact all her family in an email to tell his side of the story.
My sister, though bright, is too kind and keeps humouring him for the sake of a speedy divorce, which, we can tell by his behaviour, is not his plan.
What is the easiest and most cost-effective action she or we can take to minimalize his increasing demands and odd behaviour?
Firstly, he told her side of the family that if anyone called or emailed him that he would file for harassment charges. (Taking into consideration that no one from our family has ever called or emailed him throughout the course of their relationship... That makes little to no sense.)
Secondly, he wanted to change the 50/50 split to 60/40 in his favor because he does not have enough in savings.
Thirdly, he tried to scare my sister into agreeing to the 60/40 by threatening her with bogus adultery charges that could ruin her career in the Air Force.
Fourthly, he now is demanding to contact all her family in an email to tell his side of the story.
My sister, though bright, is too kind and keeps humouring him for the sake of a speedy divorce, which, we can tell by his behaviour, is not his plan.
What is the easiest and most cost-effective action she or we can take to minimalize his increasing demands and odd behaviour?
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Is he in the military as well? If so the best route for her is through her chain of command. They will be able to advise them both on appropriate courses of action, and also have a quiet word when he starts actig like a tw@t again.
Just to add to that, adultery charges will not effect anyones career in the RAF. It may be she has been misinformed or if it was your sister who said that the charges would then maybe she has something to hide, which may explain the ex's erratic behaviour and why he wants to speak to your family.
No one is ever innocent in these things, and maybe your sister has threatened to have the family involved, hence the harrasssment thing. The thing is, to arrest someone for harrassment takes evidence, so someone would be proved to be lying.
Just to add to that, adultery charges will not effect anyones career in the RAF. It may be she has been misinformed or if it was your sister who said that the charges would then maybe she has something to hide, which may explain the ex's erratic behaviour and why he wants to speak to your family.
No one is ever innocent in these things, and maybe your sister has threatened to have the family involved, hence the harrasssment thing. The thing is, to arrest someone for harrassment takes evidence, so someone would be proved to be lying.
I assume it woud also take evidence if he was claiming adultery and there was none. If he has your families email address, let him get on with it, if they have any sense they wont even read it. I would actually keep it and print a version off as it may hold some good evidence in the future. If he does not have email addresses and wants her to give him these, tell her to ignore him when she suggests this.As to the 60-40 split. boo hoo if he has no savings, his problem and has no rights!!
I didn't mean that to sound biased towards the man. I just meant there are two sides to every story. I also know that people will lie to there nearest and dearest to try and hide things.
I'm not saying your sister did have an affair, or that he isn't harrassing her. What i meant by the evidence bit is that if he's phoning all the time she will have a call log on her phone, or a mailbox full of texts.
As for the savings bit. How much debt has the couple run up? Who's gonna take control of the debts? Are there any children involved and who's gonna take care of them? How much has each contributed to the finances? This is all stuff that will be sorted by a solicter or mediator. Tell your sis to get her ass down to SSAFA or The Hive pronto. They will be able to give lots more advice, than is available on an internet forum.
I'm not saying your sister did have an affair, or that he isn't harrassing her. What i meant by the evidence bit is that if he's phoning all the time she will have a call log on her phone, or a mailbox full of texts.
As for the savings bit. How much debt has the couple run up? Who's gonna take control of the debts? Are there any children involved and who's gonna take care of them? How much has each contributed to the finances? This is all stuff that will be sorted by a solicter or mediator. Tell your sis to get her ass down to SSAFA or The Hive pronto. They will be able to give lots more advice, than is available on an internet forum.
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