wednesday lunch chuckle

[wendilla]

Paddy and his wife are lying in bed and the neighbours' dog is barking like mad in the garden.
>
> Paddy says "To hell with this!" and storms off.
>
> He comes back upstairs 5 minutes later and his wife asks "What did you do?"
>
> Paddy replies "I've put the dog in our garden. Let's see how they like it!"

[Bbbananas]

Sexist.
Why a dog, why not a b1tch ?

[McMouse]

We're all barking here.

[Bbbananas]

Woof.

[ummmm]

Lol....

Paddy and Murphy are on a cruise ship...

Paddy says 'it's awful quiet on deck tonight'

Murphy says 'everyone will be watching the band'

Paddy says 'There isn't a band playing tonight'

Murphy says 'I definitely heard some say a band on a ship'

[joggerjayne]

The Irish are not a race ... they are a Nation.

Irish jokes can't be racist ... only xenophobic.

[Panic Button]

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar.

The barman looks at them and says "Is this some kind of a joke?"

[jrtv]

53,000 Geordies meet in St James Park for a "Geordies Are Not Stupid" convention.

Alan Shearer addresses the crowd "We are all here today to prove to the world that Geordies are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer please". To loud applause Gazza gingerly works his way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.

Shearer asks him "What is 15 plus 15?" After 15 or 20 seconds Gazza says, "Eighteen!"

Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then the Geordies start
chanting "Give him another chance! Give him another chance!"


Shearer says "Well since we have a capacity crowd, world-wide press and global broadcast media here, I think we can give him another chance".


So he asks "What is 5 plus 5?" After nearly 30 seconds he eventually says, "Ninety?"


Shearer looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh.

Everyone is disheartened and Gazza starts crying.


But then the 53,000 Geordies begin to yell and wave their hands
shouting "GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!"


Shearer, unsure whether he is now doing more harm than good eventually says, "What is 2 plus 2?"


Silence hangs over the stadium.



Gazza closes his eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, "Four?"

Pandemonium breaks out throughout the stadium as the Geordie crowd stand to a man, wave their arms, stomp their feet and
scream..................




"GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!"