As regards my wife.
As you know she was Jewish,but is now (like myself) an Aethist.
She felt(after her experiences) two things.
One~That the god she had been taught to respect had abandoned her people,the same people that had been taught that they were the chosen of god.If so how could god allow them to be treated that way?
I am sorry,but the following line smacks to me of 21stC political correctness. "Has she never at all compromised her prior Jewish teachings to the developing and changing views of God in a modern world?"
One of the main tenets (and yes maybe faults) of the Jewish religion is,tradition and sticking to rules made thousands of years ago are the bedrock of their faith.
Elsie's (and my) view of her god is that he is cruel and vindictive,and only returns love with hate and punishment.
So in some ways some Jews believe they were punished by god with the Holocaust for wrongs they did.This view didn't help Elsie at all.
It doesn't matter who or why the Jews were killed,to us it proves the non~existence of god because he allowed the Nazis to do it.
This was very shocking to the Jews when they thought they had a "hot line" to god,and he abandoned the to their fat.
This just confirmed to many Jews that there was no god.
Just a comment on part of your question,namely this:~
You see I believe, at the moment, that natural disasters is the evolutionary state of the Planet, the 'bad' stuff that happens is people and the 'good' stuff is either people or God/Spirits?
Your belief (I am sorry to say) in this respect is a "cop out".
Either god does exist a\nd is responsible (for whatever reason) for good AND bad,
Or
Man is responsible for good AND bad.
You can't have it both ways it's not logical.