Am i being mean?

[Jenarry]

Am I being mean. i'm 38 and my brother is 41 and for the past year or so he's had his benefit money going into my bank account because he doesn't have an account of his own so once a fortnight i have the job of getting his dosh out for him.
This isn't too much hassle but what's starting to really bug me is that the week after he gets his money i pretty much always end up having to loan him some money usually at v v short notice.
after being at work all day and rushing to pick up my little lad from childminders the last thing i want to be doing is queueing up at an atm machine and getting it to him.
even when my son was in hospital after being diagnosed with diabetes he was texting me to borrow money and he even came to the hospital to get some cash off me. :O( this really upset me that he couldn't find a way to not bother me with this when i was having a horrible time. the only time i seem to hear from him these days is when he wants money from me .i had it again today and i'm getting really fed up of it! do you think i'm being unreasonable. i just wish he would sort himself out.

[Sandy-Wroe]

He could open one of those Post Office accounts to receive his benefits. does he ever pay back the money he borrows? If not, why should you keep him?

[sara3]

he needs to get his own account sorted out. he can open one with the post office just for benefit purposes.

he sounds irresponsible but you have allowed him to do that so far. let him sort his own finances out and don't lend him money. he is very selfish.

don't beat yourself up over this, it's tough love. I hope your son is okay.

[weecalf]

Where is the connection .He uses your account ok .Does that give him a right to borrow money from you .If you did not let him use the account he would borrow the money anyway ..As you have an acccount then he asssumes you have money .Get his benefit paid through the post office.I think you answered your own question in the last line .Good luck

[Jenarry]

yes he always pays the money back. it comes off his next week's benefit money but it's the hassle of it thats bugging me.
he doesn't have an account because he doesn't have enough ID. he has lost his birth certificate so i was thinking about sending off for a copy of it for him so this may solve this problem(again having to do things for him but it will be better for me too in the end)
i know i've let him get away with this sara up to now. but i'm getting fed up of being too soft with people. time for a change! my son is doing ok thankyou. we're getting into a routine with jabs etc and he's looking really well right now. :O)

[dothawkes31]

If you still live in the town where he was born you do not need to send off for a birth certificate, you just go into the register office and ask for a copy for £7. ust tell them his name and date of birth.

[caslass]

Every Monday my sister borrowed £10 from me. Every friday she gave it back.. This went on for months. In the end I said, it's more your £10 than mine so keep it and don't come back again. Maybe it will work for you.

[Mamyalynne]

You are not being mean. he needs to grow up!

[sara3]

if you're doing anything for him, ring the number on this link and find out what ID is needed. he can certainly get another National Insurance Number Card via the DWP, and can ask when he signs on next. the Post Office account is for benefit customers only, I'm sure they've dealt with this scenario before. and hey, good luck to you with your new attitude!

http://www.postoffice...0189&mediaId=19900206

[B00]

He's not had a job in over a year? Is he looking for one?

Why, if he's jobless, is he not offering to look after your son for you thus saving you money too?

And yes, he's being unreasonable.