Women's English

[McMouse]

"Yes" = No

"No" = Yes

"Maybe" = No

"I'm sorry" = You'll be sorry

"We need" = I want

"It's your decision" = The correct decision should be obvious by now

"Sure... go ahead" = I don't want you to

"I'm not upset" = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

"We need to talk" = I need to complain

"You're certainly attentive tonight" = Is sex all you ever think
about?

"Be romantic, turn out the lights" = I have flabby thighs

"This kitchen is so inconvenient" = I want a new house

"I want new curtains" = and carpeting, and furniture, and
wallpaper...

"I heard a noise" = I noticed you were almost asleep

"Do you love me?" = I'm going to ask for something expensive

"How much do you love me?" = I did something today you're really not
going to like

"I'll be ready in a minute" = Kick off your shoes and find a good
game on T.V.

"Is my butt fat?" = Lie to me

"You have to learn to communicate" = Just agree with me

"Are you listening to me!?" = [Too late, you're dead]

"Do what you want." = You'll pay for this later

[BBBE99]

"Natural beuty is best..."=Who do you think you are giving me that 'excuse' of makeup...

"What do you want for tea?"=Eat the mush...

"We're going shopping..."=We have too much money...

"We have lot's of money..."=We're going shopping for me

"Just have some fun, go out"=I'm having an affair

[sophie_1003]

"I'm fine"= I'm not fine...and neither are you