How do I get my mum to accept me for who I am?

[omnom]

I'm not exactly what you'd call 'girly', but my sister and my mum are. I prefer to wear baggy jeans and tees and Converse, but my mum doesn't like what I wear or what I do or what music I listen to.
I've tried to explain to her that that's how I am and she shouldn't have to tell me how to dress anymore or anything, but it just ends up in arguments.
I like to go shopping with her and activities like that, but how do I get it across to her that that is how I am?
If you're a mum then maybe you could contribute.
Thanks,

omnom

[sara3]

how old are you?

[omnom]

I am 13.

omnom

[sara3]

mum's aren't meant to like your music or clothes! don't worry about it, wear what you like. she'd be more upset if you were dressing like a tart.

[omnom]

I suppose. My mum does have a bit too much involvement in my life, and I know she's my mum and I love her so much, but I just need a little bit more freedom and responsibility.
Thanks for the advice.

omnom

[jno]

parents still try to influence 13-year-old children; they don't usually throw in the towel until 18. Just keep your temper, say you like the clothes you have and don't like the alternatives, and try not to wear anything actually offensive or slovenly.

[omnom]

Trust me, I don't wear anything offensive. I love what I wear personally so I think I will keep my temper about what she says.

Thanks everyone,

omnom

[jno]

that's the ticket, just be firm but calm - it's seldom worth getting into fights with your family. Just pat her on the back and say 'Sorry, I must have been swapped at birth or something' or 'I seem to have got my clothing genes from Dad's side'. Make light of it. Shes showing she cares about you - you'd be surprised how many mums don't, so that's a good sign.

[sanndwich]

jeans, t and converse are hardly radical!

[Schlomo78]

I see what's going on!
My Mum had an idea of what I should dress like, based on her life, but I had a sister who was quite a few years older, so it was kinda inbetween...it's nice that your Mum actually takes notice though Hon, But seriously, that's what Mums do! Let her down gently, by showing her 'net photos of what other people your age are wearing, i.e Miley.
Or, show her what Britney was wearing at your age, lol. You could always admit complete love for Lady Gaga, then retract your statement when she's bowed to your terms, :-D

[cassa333]

Just to put a wiggler in the works... Do you think that as your mum and sister are more like girly girls they see your 'dress down' approach to clothes etc(in there eyes anyway) as you not being feminine? Do they think perhaps you are gay and are trying madely to steer you in another direction?

Or does your mum just want a pair of mini me's?

[deannatrois]

Its not easy as a 13 year old dealing with parents. I had parents who were a couple of generations behind so what i wore (which was perfectly normal clothes.., they didn't even like Jeans) seemed yuk to them. But I always was the outsider.., and to be honest while it made me an unhappy teenager, I'm a happier adult cause I'm not afraid to buck the trend, and sure of who I am. I think it makes u a more rounded, less judgemental adult. You seem to be very clear thinking. The advice on using humour to defuse the situation is very very good advice. Just refuse to be drawn.., your mum is as she is too.., u can't change her I'm afraid so ignore what u can and make sure u stay exactly as u are.., I'd be very proud to have a daughter like you (I have a son whose pretty much like it and love it).

[zzxxee]

my daughter is your age and has a sister 6 years older eldest into make up girlie clothes 13 yr old compleate tomboy.
at 13 you are still finding out who you are if you are comfortable in what you wear and it is appropriate for your age then be proud of who you are

be yourself be the best
when everyone tries to make you like the rest!!!!

you are what makes you you kid !!!!

[ganesh]

I'm a mum,and I've been through the 13/14 yr old problems with mine. Your Mum is being typical in that she's seeing you grow up and establish your own style and independence. And that's harder for a mum than you realise. She is picking on the clothes thing just coz it represents the loss of control that a mum has to go through with a daughter.Stand your ground though,she will come round soon enough. You don't sound that much of a rebel and there are lots more worrying things with teenagers than fashion.